


Flight of the stars

by dunklenacht310



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Astronaut!Liam, Bottom Harry, Gay Sex, M/M, Set in the future, Spaceships, Top Zayn, a bit of a slow burn, astronaut!Zayn, astronaut!louis, engineer!Harry, engineer!Niall, not that many, not that much tho, references to Evangelion (anime), spacecraft AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-03-01 00:30:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 38,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18789349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dunklenacht310/pseuds/dunklenacht310
Summary: “Oh” Harry smiles “Nothing. Just the observatory. A lot of telescopes, more monitors, more telescopes”“Cool” Zayn grins “You won’t believe it, but I like looking at the stars a lot”Harry snorts. “Incredible. Wouldn’t have guessed it, from what you do for a living”Zayn arches his eyebrow. “Show me the observatory now, if you’re done being sarcastic?” he demands with a grin.Harry grins back, and Zayn is hit by full-powered dimples. “Okay. It just so happens to be my favourite room in the whole Evangelion”-Harry is a chartered engineer in a space mission control, and Zayn is the new astronaut hired for their new project, Evangelion. There's something in Harry's past that makes him a bit sad, a bit guilty. Zayn wants to find out what it is.As stars and galaxies collide, so do Zayn and Harry.Set in year 2200, or so.





	1. Prologue - Evangelion

**Author's Note:**

> First note: For those of you who don't know the anime Evangelion, it's basically about robot-like creatures called exactly Evangelion, Eva for short, and they're driven by human pilots. One of these pilots is Shinji Ikari, protagonist of the anime. That's all you need to know to understand the references in this work, but if you have time, watch it, it's just insanely good.
> 
> Second note: I've always hated the (not so) mild "gendering" of fanfictions. Most of the people I've spoken to firmly believe that it's a hobby "for girls", like writing and reading could ever be a gendered passion.  
> Well, my brother is my most dedicated reader, and he's very much a man. He reads all my work, gives me insight and advice. And he doesn't even like One Direction, bless him.  
> So, this fic is for him, and for whoever once had someone tell them fanfiction is not something they should indulge in. If you love writing, reading, sharing, then this is exactly what you should indulge in, no matter your gender and no matter how old you are. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
> 
> Third note, a little detail about myself. My brother just officially became a space engineer, I'm very proud of him, and he explained me details about his brand-new job. This fic was inspired by him.  
> It is set sometime in the future, around 2200 or so. Some space details would not be realistic if it was set in the present.
> 
> Usual disclaimer: I don't know or own any of the characters present in this work. I only own the plot and any eventual original character.  
> The title of this fic is a song by Zayn Malik.

 

 

_“Harry, what’s happening?”_

_“Abort the mission. They need to evacuate immediately”_

_“Harry? Harry?”_

_“This isn’t your fault, you know that”_

_“It’s my fault”_

_“Harry? Harry? Harry!”_

“Harry?”

Harry wakes up with a jolt, gasping for breath and feeling beads of cold sweat running down the back of his neck. He tied his bun too tightly before going to sleep, and now it’s askew and pulling too much on some strands. His hairline hurts.

It’s Niall who woke him up. “Haz? You okay?” he asks, frowning.

Harry takes a breath, and nods. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. Just a nightmare”

Niall sighs and pats him on the shoulder. “Sorry to wake you up, mate”

“What time is it? I feel like I’ve been sleeping for ten minutes” Harry murmurs, untying the damn bun and shaking his hair, wincing when the roots protest in pain.

Niall sighs again. “You’ve slept for twenty” he tells Harry “The new astronaut team just arrived. They’re in the dining room right now. Cowell told me to fetch you because none of us knows how to explain how the new mission control works except you, and they have to be ready and operating tomorrow already”

Harry curses Cowell under his breath, and then looks at his own chest. His t-shirt is soaked with sweat. “I need to shower. Can they wait ten minutes?”

Niall nods. “They’re still eating. Take your time. I’ll fend off Cowell”

“Our almighty captain might as well come drag me out from under the shower if I fall asleep in it” Harry replies.

Niall laughs. “I’ll try to stop him, promise” he assures “But now we need you to get back in the Eva, Shinji Ikari” he adds, and then retreats, leaving Harry alone.

Harry chuckles at Niall’s joke. It never fails to amuse him, and that’s saying something, considering that Harry’s the one who’s named the mission control Evangelion.

He’s still feeling mildly upset by the dream, and he takes a moment to sit, stroking his face with his hands and taking in his surroundings, the tight quarters he’s been living in for the past month since the new op started and Cowell called him back to work.

They’re still on the ground, on Earth, but not for long, if the astronauts have finally arrived.

Harry’s been ready for two weeks already, if he’s honest. He’s the chartered engineer, head of the team, he has to be. Niall, his assistant and childhood friend as well, has been ready for even longer. He’s excited to leave Earth and be part of the spacecraft team. Harry is not, to say the least.

The training has been a nightmare. When Harry chose to be a space engineer, he thought the toughest training he’d receive would be the one from his program in uni.

Little did he know, that when you’re a space engineer about to go into actual space, the training is even worse.

All his muscles have been hurting non-stop for weeks, and they still have five more days before the whole team is as fit to be in a spacecraft as the actual astronauts.

Harry built the whole system for the entire mission control _and_ the spacecraft. One would think it’s enough, but no, he also has to lift and run and challenge his breath every day, physically as well as mentally.

He sighs, picking up a clean t-shirt and underwear and jeans, before heading to the bathroom. Being the head engineer means having a private bathroom. _The incredible privilege_ , Harry thinks.

As he selects the desired water temperature on the touch-screen built inside the shower wall (Niall helped Harry build those screens as well) and then lets the hot, perfect 38° C water slosh over his sweaty body, Harry thinks he could have refused.

When he left the first time, a year earlier, he went back home and thought that would be the last he’d see of a mission control station.

However, a year later, Harry had been woken up by a knocking on the door and a very close to begging Captain Simon Cowell and vice-Captain Ben Winston, both of them asking CEng Harry Edward Styles to please get his arse back in the mission control and help them.

Harry had left them the blueprints and projects for the new mission control, Evangelion, before leaving, but none of them really knew how to work with it. It’s the job of a chartered engineer, and even if they had another one at the time, Harry is the one who designed and programmed the whole thing.

And the whole Evangelion project is far bigger and more important than whatever fears and guilt Harry can feel. They’re close to have sustainable life on other planets, for Christ’s sake. Harry could never refuse going back to work, no matter how adamant he’d been when he left that they’d never see Harry Edward Styles set foot in a mission control ever again.

He did set foot in it, gave it a name, he’s lived there for a month now, and he’s even about to go into actual space with his team, and the astronauts.

There’s three of them, Harry knows. They’ve been trained in the States at the headquarters of NASA, for years and years. Harry personally selected the three of them from a pile of a hundred credentials.

 _Louis William Tomlinson_. _Liam James Payne_. And _Zayn Javadd Malik_.

Harry will never admit that, despite the impeccable results those three have shown during their training, what made him decide once and for all was the fact that none of them is married, and they’re still young.

This mission could take months, years, even. He knows astronauts know what they sign up for, but Harry would hate for husbands and wives to be separated from their partners and kids for years.

Harry himself has been separated from his mother and sister, for more than a year now. But it’s different. Harry has inflicted that punishment upon himself.

Harry gets out of the shower, gets dry and dressed, and scoops his still wet hair in a bun. He doesn’t care about drying it, because it’s so warm inside the station that it’ll be dry anyway in less than ten minutes.

He stares at the small picture of him, his mother, Robin and Gemma that he’s stuck to the single-compartment closet in his room. He smiles a little, wondering what they’re doing and if he’ll ever see them again. Maybe he’ll call Anne tonight. She doesn’t know why Harry avoids going back home whenever he manages, but she’s still happy when he calls her and tells her he’s okay.

She doesn’t know that Harry doesn’t know how to look at her in the face after Robin died.

Gemma says it’s not Harry’s fault.

Harry begs to differ on that one.

He leaves his room, blessing the fact that the head engineer doesn’t have a uniform. Harry has lost whatever vanity he had in the course of the last year, but he still thinks the station uniform Niall has to wear is horrible. A dull, dark blue, heavy on the shoulders and loose around the legs.

Niall doesn’t mind, but Harry only feels comfortable in tight jeans, so that’s what he wears even when he’s working. The only thing he _has_ to wear is the badge around his neck, a thin black cord tied to a card with his picture and _CEng Harry Edward Styles_ printed on it.

Harry brings his notebooks with him, and rolls his eyes at the fact that he’ll spend the whole night with the fucking astronauts instead of sleeping, and then he’ll have more training with them, and he’ll probably never sleep again.

Cowell and Winston wave at him when they spot him coming towards them. Niall is there too, in his horrible blue uniform, and three more people are with them, the three astronauts Harry selected.

 _Louis William Tomlinson_ , _Liam James Payne_ , _Zayn Javadd Malik_ , Harry repeats the names in his head.

They’re not wearing any uniforms, but Harry doesn’t notice more about that because he’s taken aback by one of them. _Zayn Javadd Malik_ , he knows from the files, but that’s the only thing he really knows, because the files and the pictures didn’t exactly make it clear just how _fit_ Zayn Javadd Malik is.

He’s got black hair, fairly long because it’s tied in a topknot, with the sides and the lower back of his head shaved. He’s smiling at something Niall’s saying, and the white tank top he’s wearing exposes two almost full sleeves of tattoos, with more ink on his chest peeking from under the collar.

“And this is our head tech, CEng Harry Styles” Cowell says as soon as Harry joins them “Sorry to wake you up, Mr. Styles. Our new colleagues were scheduled to come in tomorrow morning, but they’re already here and it’s best to use whatever time we have”

Harry shakes his head and dumps his notebooks on the first available table. “It’s okay. I’m Harry Styles, nice to meet you all” he replies, stretching a hand out for them and trying to avoid staring at Zayn Javadd Malik.

The three astronauts introduce themselves to Harry, and Ben Winston chuckles. “This is unnecessary. After all, Mr. Styles is the one who selected the three of you for this mission”

Harry smiles tightly. “Politeness is never unnecessary, as you seem to have forgotten, vice-Captain Winston” he retorts.

He sees the three astronauts wince, but he just shrugs. They’ll learn soon enough that Harry doesn’t give a shit about what Cowell and Winston think. He’s not their… _subject_ , or whatever it is the role in the military for anyone following Cowell and Winston’s orders. They both know as well, because Winston closes his mouth tightly, and Cowell just sighs a smirk and pats Harry on the shoulder. “We’ll leave you with Mr. Styles then” he says at last “Be careful. He’s not as innocuous as he looks” he adds.

“Never thought that in the first place” Zayn Javadd Malik replies. Harry smiles a little at him.

Once Cowell and Winston are gone, Niall sighs. “Excuse Winston, he’s a rude motherfucker”

“Niall” Harry hisses. Winston – and Cowell too – might let _Harry_ take his liberties to keep him there, but Niall is not as invulnerable.

Louis William Tomlinson and Liam James Payne chuckle. “This is gonna be fun”, Louis William Tomlinson says.

Harry sighs. “I hate to disappoint you, Mr. Tomlinson, but it’s not going to be. You, Mr. Payne and Mr. Malik will be stuck with me for the rest of the night while I try to teach you everything about this new kind of mission control before dawn comes. It’s gonna be long and tedious and you’ll hate my guts by the time breakfast is served”

Zayn Javadd Malik chuckles. “Highly doubt it” he murmurs.

Harry looks at him and frowns. “I’m sorry?”

Zayn Javadd Malik shakes his head. “Nothing, nothing. Well. Before we start, enough of this formal nonsense. You can just call me Zayn” he says.

The other two nod. “Same for us. We’re just Louis and Liam” Louis William Tomlinson adds.

Harry nods. “Okay. Yeah, I guess it’s kinda weird, you’re just a couple years older than me. Then we’ll just be Harry and Niall” he agrees.

Niall claps his hands once. “Wonderful. There’s no one in the kitchen. Let’s go there, I’ll start the coffee. We’ll need a fuckton of it” he declares, and prances to the kitchen, Louis and Liam on tow.

Harry can’t help but notice that Zayn stays behind with him, walking at a more normal pace. “So, you’re the one who chose me?” he asks with a tone that sounds too casual to really be that.

Harry nods. “Yes. Your results and responses to the training were among the best, with Louis and Liam. It wasn’t that hard to choose”

Zayn chuckles. “Must be a lot of responsibility at barely thirty, yeah? Choosing astronauts, building mission controls anew, programming a whole fucking spacecraft” he comments “Everybody was talking about you and your Evangelion, back in the States. You’re a legend, mate”

Harry chuckles. It’s bitter, and he can feel it. He wonders what Zayn has really heard about him and what he’s done in the past year. Harry’s sure the main event never made it to simple astronauts in the States, because it didn’t even make the news, and he reckons Cowell and his superiors haven’t been exactly keen on sharing _that_. “Lucky me” Harry murmurs, looking at his shoes as they reach the kitchen.

Zayn grabs him by the arm. His hand is warm on Harry’s skin, and the grip is firm and stable, Harry notices. “Um, Harry? Did I say something wrong?” Zayn asks “I’m sorry if I did. I just meant it’s like, an honour, that you chose us specifically”

Harry, despite how cranky and tired he’s feeling, musters an honest smile. “No, Zayn, it’s okay. Sorry, I’m just… kinda tired? They made me lift for two hours today” he replies. It’s not even a lie.

Zayn snorts. “You poor thing” he coos, sarcastically.

Harry arches an eyebrow and crosses his arms. “I’m a chartered engineer, not a bodybuilder” he quips “If I wanted to do heavy lifting, I’d have applied to be John Cena’s assistant, not a head tech in a space station”

Zayn’s eyes are sparkling when he answers Harry’s statement by just laughing hard. He bends over a little bit, a hand on his own stomach, and Harry’s heart does a little somersault when he sees just how fucking _beautiful_ Zayn is, with his eyes crinkled in laughter and his white teeth showing, tongue peeking behind them.

Harry forces himself not to laugh with him, because it’s kinda embarrassing how much he’s already staring at Zayn, and rolls his eyes, gesturing inside the kitchen with his head. “Come on. You’re too cheerful for two in the bloody morning” he mutters.

Zayn seems unimpressed, and follows Harry still laughing a little.

The kitchen is not really a kitchen. It’s more of a dining room, with two rows of steel tables for a total of twenty, four seats per table. There’s a door at the end of the room that leads to the actual kitchen, but right now it’s closed.

On the other far end of the room, a bigger steel table carries bowls and bottles which get filled each morning with milk, juice, tea and coffee. Niall is right there, getting the kettle going and preparing five cups with the shitty instant coffee stored in one of the cabinets.

Once the coffee is done, they all converge around a table, Niall unhinging a chair from another one without a care in the world and squeezing it between Louis and Liam to fit himself in. Harry glares at him. “It took me ages to mount the chairs by myself ‘cause you were sick” he tells Niall.

Niall laughs and shrugs. “Don’t get your knickers in a twist, Hazza. I’m all healed now, I’ll be sure to replace your beloved chair in its rightful spot when we’re done”

Louis and Liam laugh. “You seem like a lot, Niall Horan” Liam comments, amused.

Harry sighs. “You have literally no idea” he concedes, and then flips his first notebook open “So, did you read the files the station sent to you after your selection?”

The three astronauts nod. Harry nods too. “Okay. So you know the general idea of this place. There’s a basement for training and storing materials, a gym and outer territories on the first floor, and the rooms for you and everybody else are on this floor, with the kitchen and the bullpen. The bullpen’s where the mission control team monitors what happens in space. It’s just unmanned spacecrafts for now, we have three on Medea and four on Cassandra. That’s the names we gave to the two inhabitable planets we discovered a year ago. The results from the tests have established that Cassandra is the most indicated planet to try and start building sustainable human life on. But it’s just machine tests right now. Our job will be to test the atmosphere and the ground in person. Should the results be positive after our landing and study of the area, we’ll run the same tests on Medea”

Liam shakes his head. “Sorry. I mean, I know it’s our job, but it’s still crazy to me, that there are still planets that have never been discovered”

Harry smiles. “We still know only 5% of the entire solar system, Liam” he says, lowering his voice a little, because it amazes him as well, no matter how much of his life he’s spent with his nose pointed towards the stars “I reckon that by the time we’re all dead, they’ll know 6%. Which is why discovering Medea and Cassie was important. None of the ‘old planets’ is inhabitable. _They_ are”

Louis snickers. “Cassie?”

Harry blushes a little. “I was here when they first caught sight of her from the spacecraft, last year. It was a bit like watching a baby being born. Excuse my attachment, and gendering of a planet”

Zayn chuckles and nudges Harry a bit on the elbow. “’S cool, mate. Louis gendered and named his cactus. No shame in that”

Louis gives Harry a thumbs up and a grin, like he wants to confirm Zayn’s statement. “I brought Alexander The Great Cactus with me” he says. Harry finds himself laughing with the rest of them.

“So you built this whole new mission control system and the new spacecraft to study Medea and Cassie?” Liam asks.

Harry feels something unpleasant stir in his stomach, because he knows what the next question will be, but he nods anyway.

“But if you built Evangelion a year ago, then why did it take so long to start the mission?” Liam predictably asks.

Harry is at a loss. He sees Robin’s excited face like it’s burned in the back of his eyeballs, and he’s sweating like the nightmare he had less than two hours earlier never ended.

It’s Niall who saves him. He hooks his ankle around Harry’s under the table, and answers for him. “There was supposed to be a first mission a year ago, but there were problems, and things needed to be fixed. It took a while for the Eva to function properly” Niall just says.

 _That might be the understatement of the century_ , Harry thinks, but smiles in thanks at Niall anyway.

Harry sees Zayn frown and stare at him, but pointedly keeps his eyes on his notes. “Yeah” he says “So, we’ll start with the programs in the bullpen. You won’t need to operate them, but you still need to know how they work, or you won’t be able to communicate with mission control when we’ll be in the spacecraft”

“Won’t you be communicating with them?” Zayn asks Harry.

Harry sighs. Sweet, innocent Zayn Javadd Malik. “Things can happen. I could be sick. There can be accidents. You need to be able to operate everything without my help” he answers, as robotic and matter-of-factly as he can.

“We’re not going to _war_ , Harry” Louis frowns “We’re going to grab soil samples from a deserted _female_ planet named Cassandra, Cassie for friends”

Harry shrugs. People have died for much less. “It is what it is” he just answers, his eyes still on the notebooks “Okay. Let’s get started, yeah?”

Nobody answers, but they all nod.

Zayn stares at Harry the whole time, and Harry feels something tingle a bit in his limbs.

 

*

 

It’s almost six in the morning when they’re finally done with Harry’s ‘lesson’, as Niall calls it.

Niall, Liam and Louis mutter something about getting at least a couple hours of sleep before they have to be in the gym to train with the rest of the team, and then they’re off to their respective rooms, which leaves Harry to pile up his notes and put them back in his folders, and Zayn to do whatever he pleases.

Whatever he pleases means staying right there to stare at CEng Harry Edward Styles.

There’s just _something_ , about Harry, a little bit of sadness and a little bit of sass, that is calling to Zayn like a beacon. It’s not just that he’s gorgeous, which he definitely is. There’s something _else_.

He’s seen Harry be utterly professional as he filled them in on how this particular mission control works, but Zayn hasn’t been able to help noticing him tense whenever the former mission control was mentioned.

He hasn’t asked, but Zayn is good at noticing stuff without asking. He’s noticed how Harry doesn’t seem to want to talk about it, how he’s never really explained just what it was, that was wrong with the last mission control station.

Zayn knows something went very wrong, though. The details have never been divulged, but he knows there’s been some kind of accident, and people have died. He wonders if Harry was there at the time.

“Zayn?”

Zayn shakes his head and hums at Harry, finding him on the threshold of the dining room, notebooks and sheets piled in his arms. His really nice arms. It’s definitely true that he’s lifting, apparently, although Zayn doesn’t know what Harry looked like before that.

“I said that I’m done and ready to go, so if you don’t plan on taking a nap in the kitchen, we should get the hell out of here” Harry says, with a small smile.

He has dimples.

Zayn’s always has a soft spot for dimples, and Louis knows, because he’s been grinning non-stop at Zayn every time Harry has smiled. As it is, now Louis is gone and Zayn can stare at Harry all he wants without worrying about anyone except Harry himself.

“Need help with those?” Zayn asks, and picks up half the notebooks from Harry’s arms without waiting for a reply.

Harry stutters something and then smiles some more. “Cheers” he says as they both walk towards the bullpen.

Zayn is still a bit more than amazed by Evangelion, no matter how thoroughly he’s read about it. He looks around the bullpen, to the monitors beeping and receiving data from the unmanned spacecrafts, and it shocks Zayn, that all he’s looking at has been birthed by the mind of the tall, lanky, curly guy currently walking next to him. “It’s crazy, that you built the whole Evangelion” Zayn murmurs.

Harry chuckles and huffs, dropping his notebooks on the desk labelled _CEng Harry E. Styles_. “I didn’t exactly _build_ it. We had actual architects and carpenters and techs for that”

“But you _thought_ all this. You programmed every single computer in this place. You projected the spacecraft we’re gonna use, Eva 02, for Christ’s sake”

Harry blinks and blushes. “You know it’s called Eva 02?”

Zayn grins. “It wasn’t in the files you sent us. But I did my own research. I’m a thorough student”

Harry chuckles. “Good for you, Zayn Javadd Malik” he says.

“Is it red? Like the Eva 02 in _Evangelion_ the anime?” Zayn asks.

Harry gapes. “You… you _know_?” he hisses.

Zayn shrugs. “One of my favourite anime, babe. I almost lost my shit when I was told someone gave the name Evangelion to the new mission control”

Harry laughs, a bit embarrassedly, and he unties his bun, shaking his hair, and _shit_ , it’s long and even curlier than it looked before, and Zayn kinda wants to play with it. “It’s my favourite anime too. Couldn’t resist, when the Man told me that I could choose the names” Harry says.

“Can’t blame you” Zayn concedes “So, what’s on the third floor? The map says there’s a third floor but you didn’t mention it earlier”

“Oh” Harry smiles “Nothing. Just the observatory. A lot of telescopes, more monitors, more telescopes”

“Cool” Zayn grins “You won’t believe it, but I like looking at the stars a lot”

Harry snorts. “Incredible. Wouldn’t have guessed it, from what you do for a living”

Zayn arches his eyebrow. “Show me the observatory now, if you’re done being sarcastic?” he demands with a grin.

Harry grins back, and Zayn is hit by full-powered dimples. “Okay. It just so happens to be my favourite room in the whole Evangelion”

 

 


	2. Whole constellations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every time something malfunctions in Evangelion, it’s Harry’s fault. He needs to accept the responsibility, and he does, he really does, but it doesn’t make him feel less guilty about it.  
> When this kind of afternoon happens, Harry feels like Robin is staring at the nape of his neck the whole time, from the picture hung in the bullpen.  
> Harry misses him so much, sometimes. It’s like there’s a hole in the floor of Evangelion, right where Robin should have been, and it’s Harry who dug it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual disclaimer: I don't know or own any of the characters present in this work. I only own the plot and any eventual original character.
> 
> Update: I am very sorry I haven't updated in almost two weeks. Next chapter is gonna be here in a matter of days, I promise.

 

 

Zayn thinks his father would love everything about Evangelion.

Yaser hadn’t been particularly happy, when Zayn had started the astronaut training and temporarily moved to the States, because by then it was clear that Zayn was eventually really going to be launched into the literal fucking unknown with a shuttle.

Over the years, though, Yaser has come to accept it, and he’s been the first to tell Zayn just how proud he is of his son. That, and the fact that he’s really fucking fascinated by space himself.

So, as Harry leads Zayn up the stairs to the third floor and opens the door of the observatory, Zayn looks around, abashed, and makes a mental note to take pictures to send Yaser. That might be illegal, but it’s not like Zayn’s never done it before anyway.

The big, spacious room is shaped like a dome. The ceiling is curved and made of glass, with concrete reticulates separating the various sections of it. They’re only on a third floor, Zayn knows, but the building is very tall anyway, so Zayn is reminded about just how high in the air they are. He chuckles, thinking about when he was afraid of heights and didn’t like rollercoasters. Now, his fucking _job_ is heights and rollercoasters.

The sky is brightening, Zayn can see through the wide windows and the glass ceiling. Dawn is almost there, but not quite, and Zayn can still see the stars and the moon.

There’s no one else in the room, but the walls are lined with desks and monitors. It absurdly takes Zayn a while to notice the many, gigantic telescopes installed in the windows. They’re more than twenty, and they’re _big_.

Harry chuckles, reminding Zayn that he’s there as well. Not that Zayn really forgot that. “Wanna see something cool?” Harry asks, one dimple showing.

Zayn looks around some more. “Cooler than this entire place?”

“Yep” Harry nods, and walks to one of the telescopes, pushing some buttons. The machine whirs to life.

“It looks like a cannon” Zayn comments.

Harry chuckles. “Well, it does break through something. The atmosphere, technically”

Zayn groans. “Oh, Jesus, this was a really terrible joke”

Harry shrugs, but he’s still grinning while he keeps his eyes on the telescope, adjusting its settings or whatever it is he’s doing. Zayn never really managed to learn how the new sky-scrutinizing machines in Evangelion work. He was too busy drooling over the spacecraft. Eva 02. Which he hasn’t even _seen_ yet.

Harry hums, and looks into the telescope for a minute, before humming again and looking at Zayn. “Look” he says.

Zayn nods and gets closer to Harry. He smells like peaches, maybe a shampoo or a shower gel. Zayn must smell terrible. He needs to shower soon.

When he looks into the telescope, pressing his eyes against the two lenses on the front of the cannon-shaped machine, he doesn’t think he can believe his eyes.

He’s looking at grass. Vegetation. There’s trees, only they’re not green, but a dark shade of purple. So is the grass and whatever plant he can see. “What the fuck…” Zayn murmurs, rotating the telescope a little bit. He sees a river, with water running as clear as the purest river on Earth.

“That’s Cassandra” Harry says quietly “Cassie for friends”

“Fucking hell” Zayn says “Harry, it’s… purple?”

“There’s no chlorophyll there. But the purple comes from something similar to it. We don’t know anything about how the photosynthesis works on Cassie, we only know that it happens. That’s why _life_ is possible there, Zayn” Harry replies, his tone a bit more passionate than before “There’s _oxygen_ , and _gravity_ , and _vegetation_. The planet is half as big as Earth. It’s _huge_ , Zayn, and people could live there”

“Fuck” Zayn breathes, removing his face from the telescope “I… I knew. I mean, I do know it’s a thing, it’s possible. But… I…” he doesn’t know what to say. He’s never been that good with his words.

Harry smiles and nods. “It’s a bit overwhelming, isn’t it? Looking at a living, breathing planet, so far away from us and yet so similar”

Zayn nods as well. “Is it… do we know if it’s already… inhabited?”

“Only by insects and the like” Harry says “We scanned the whole thing for a year. There’s no sign of other kinds of lives. It’s alive, and deserted at the same time”

Zayn is feeling a bit more than overwhelmed, now that the reality of what they’re about to do has hit him. It seemed so far away and incredible, when he first was told about the mission of the Evangelion. But now that Zayn’s there, _looking_ at Cassandra, it feels so _close_ , and even more incredible.

Zayn sits on a chair, and brushes his face with his hands. “Wow” he sighs “You… you said it’s half as big as Earth?”

Harry nods, and sits next to Zayn, on the desk. “About 250 million square kilometres. Medea’s slightly bigger than Cassie, even”

“Harry, how the _fuck_ have two planets this big gone unnoticed for _centuries_?” Zayn asks, abashed.

Harry chuckles. “It was Achilles’s fault”

Zayn frowns. “Who’s Achilles?”

“Wait” Harry says. He jumps off the desk and rummages through one of the drawers, extracting a couple pictures and handing them to Zayn.

It’s an asteroid mass, a big one, debris and gigantic rocks scattered over the whole surface. “That’s Achilles” Harry says “It was an asteroid formation, right in front of Cassie and Medea. It hid them, for centuries. It was too thick to even try to attempt destroying it, and nobody thought about it in the first place, because nobody could have imagined just what there was, behind it”

“Shit” Zayn hisses “And now?”

“It’s gone” Harry shrugs “Passed. Moved on. Asteroids do move, even if at an unnervingly slow pace. The space currents brought it away. I was there that day, when a glimpse of purple showed up in the radars of the bullpen” he grins “It was amazing, Zayn. Next thing we knew, Achilles was gone, and Cassie was there in all her purple glory. Medea too. She’s orange”

“Can I see her too?” Zayn asks, standing up, and he knows he’s too eager, but can Harry really blame him? This whole thing feels like fucking Armageddon.

Harry sighs. “No. We can’t see Meds from here, she’s behind Cassie. You’ll have to wait until the bullpen is fully operating in the morning, and then I’ll ask someone to show you the footage from the unmanned spacecrafts, promise”

Zayn chuckles. “Meds” he says.

Harry shrugs. “I get attached pretty fast” he tells Zayn.

Zayn looks around the observatory, at the stars almost invisible in the rapidly clearing sky. “Can’t really blame you” he comments “So, can I… can I come here again, another time?”

Harry smiles. His eyes are very green, Zayn notices. “Whenever you want. If Wayland wants to kick you out, you tell him I sent you. He’s a grumpy old man, but he’s good at his job”

Zayn chuckles, and follows Harry out of the room and down the stairs again, until they’re in the bullpen once more. “I know you’d like to see the Eva 02” Harry tells Zayn “But I’m legally not allowed to bring anyone in the basement unless Cowell or Winston are present. And I try not to need Winston’s presence as much as I can”

Zayn frowns. “Why? You don’t like him?”

“Not particularly” Harry admits. It’s careless, to divulge his opinions about a vice-Captain to basically a stranger, but Zayn reckons Harry doesn’t give a fuck about it, since he’s technically just a civilian.

“He got too bold with my sister at a crew party a couple of years ago” Harry says clearing his throat “And then he got too bold with me as well, I guess”

Zayn frowns. “He hit on you? But you’re crew!”

“Yep” Harry says, popping the ‘p’ “And well, I gotta say, I wouldn’t dream of letting Ben Winston touch me even if I was a complete civilian, to be honest”

Zayn snorts a laugh. “He is very handsome” he tries.

Harry arches an eyebrow. “He is also very stupid and doesn’t know how to multiply by five without a calculator” he answers bluntly “I need a man who knows at least the multiplication tables until ten, Zayn”

“I can get up to twelve”

Zayn curses himself as soon as the words leave his mouth, because _really, Zayn?_. Harry stutters for a moment, but then his green eyes sparkle and he laughs. Hard, and genuinely, and Zayn doesn’t think he’ll recover that soon from watching his dimples dig deep in his cheeks and his loose curls bounce.

“Good for you, Zayn Javadd Malik” Harry says when he stops laughing “See? We don’t even _need_ Ben fucking Winston anymore now that you’ve come to save us all”

Zayn clears his throat, and tries to get a fucking grip, because yeah, Harry’s a civilian. Almost, anyway. “Um, sorry. That was inappropriate” he says.

Harry shrugs. “I’m inappropriate 99% of the time here. Just ask Cowell” he says “Now, I think we should probably get some sleep, even if it’s just an hour or so. They showed you to your room, didn’t they?”

“Yeah” Zayn nods “Ben Winston took care of that”

“The delight” Harry sighs sarcastically “He also point you towards the showers?”

Zayn has to hold back a squeal at that, because… “Isn’t there a shower in my room?”

Harry chuckles. “I’m afraid no. There’s a bathroom, but no shower. You have to use the common ones, I’ll show you where. It’ll please you to know that there’s only one person here with a private shower” he says, starting to walk across the bullpen.

“Ben Winston?” Zayn grins.

Harry scoffs. “He wishes” he retorts “Nope. I’m talking about handsome, almighty head tech CEng Harry Edward Styles”

“I knew your peach-scented shower gel couldn’t be something coming from the common showers” Zayn grunts, faking an affronted tone.

“Be a good boy, Zayn Javadd Malik, and maybe I’ll lend you a bottle”

As Zayn keeps following Harry through a corridor, he thinks it’s been ages since he last flirted with someone. Hell, it’s been ages even since he just _kissed_ someone. And yet it’s taken him barely four hours to start flirting with the CEng of the Evangelion. What’s wrong with him?

“These are the showers” Harry says at last, opening a door and welcoming Zayn inside a round room littered with showers all around the walls. “There’s a screen inside each of them where you can select whatever temperature you desire. It’s in Celsius, so like, a 100° Fahrenheit would be 38”

Zayn grins. “I don’t use Fahrenheit, babe”

Harry blushes a little, and then nods. “Oh. Cool. They think Fahrenheit it’s easier, in the States. It isn’t. It’s too approximative and we don’t need a scale so big for temperatures”

“Right? That’s what I always say” Zayn answers.

Harry frowns. “You’re fucking with me, ain’t you?” he asks at last.

Zayn grins. “Would never dare do such a thing. Fucking with the CEng of the Evangelion? No way”

Harry arches an eyebrow and then rummages in a cabinet, throwing something at Zayn, who catches it only to see an orange-coloured bottle of shower gel. “Enjoy the peaches” Harry says “Not that you deserve them” he adds in a pissed tone Zayn has already learned is totally fake.

Zayn smiles brightly at him. “Cheers, babe”

“Don’t call me babe. It’s inappropriate”

“Oh. Sorry. Babe” Zayn retorts with his best shit-eating grin.

Harry rolls his eyes, but a corner of his mouth is twitching like he’s trying not to laugh. “Goodnight, Zayn Javadd Malik. See you in 55 minutes” he says, and then he’s out.

Zayn showers at record speed, and then slips under the duvet in the tiny-ass room they gave him. He’s asleep before he can even think about anything, he’s so tired.

 

*

 

“How long has it been since you called your mum?” Niall asks Harry the next morning – well, technically just _an hour_ later, because that’s the extent of sleep Harry’s managed to get after spending his time with the astronauts, and then with Zayn alone.

Zayn.

Zayn’s there, talking to Louis and Liam and a couple other people from their team. There’s Meredith, buzzcut and big blue eyes, who is hands-down Harry’s favourite person in Evangelion after Niall. She’s a scientist, specialized in flora, and she’s going to be invaluable for their research on the grounds of Cassandra.

Then there’s Mark, who Harry knows is Meredith’s boyfriend as well as a hydrologist. He’s tall, taller than Zayn but not taller than Harry, and he’s a lot of fun if you appreciate bad puns, which Harry does, thank you very much.

There’s two more people in their team (Grant and Liza, the pilots), plus Cowell and Winston, but they’re not around yet. Harry desperately wishes Zayn, Louis and Liam will get along well with the rest of their team, because the mission will already be a difficult one without throwing internal discord into the mix.

Zayn isn’t wearing much, and Harry doesn’t know if he feels blessed or cursed. The years of training haven’t particularly buffed Zayn up, because he’s lean and definitely not big, but his muscles are clearly defined and twitching under his skin every time he crosses his tattooed arms. His tank top is tight and black, the straps crossing on his back and exposing his shoulder blades. He’s got something like a fantail tattooed on the nape of his neck, not that Harry’s looking that closely.

“Harry!” Niall hisses, stomping his foot on the floor.

Harry hums, deciding it’s best to look at his friend. “What were you saying? Sorry”

Niall rolls his eyes. “I asked you how long it’s been since you called your mum, but you didn’t hear me ‘cause you’re too busy ogling the new astronaut”

Harry squeals a little and presses his hand on Niall’s mouth, scanning Zayn to see if he heard. He’s too engrossed in the conversation with Liam, Louis, Meredith and Mark, though. “Shut up” Harry whispers to Niall, and then frees his mouth “I, um, not that long, anyway”

Niall arches an eyebrow. “Is a whole month ‘not that long’, Haz?”

“How do you even know?”

“’Cause she called _me_. She’s worried about you, Hazza, she said you haven’t called her once since you moved here, just sporadic texts”

“I didn’t have time” Harry says automatically, and he knows it’s a filthy lie, and his heart breaks a little, but he can’t help it.

“You have time to spend in the observatory, looking at Cassie for hours on end. So you do have time” Niall says, not unkindly “Harry, is this about… about Robin?”

Harry sighs. “ _Everything_ is about Robin, Niall. Like the pictures all around this station remind me every single day”

“You know that Anne doesn’t blame you, never has, right? You’re literally the only one who blames you, and you should stop”

“Oh, thanks! How have I not thought about doing that?” Harry deadpans, bitterly.

Niall winces a little. “I’m sorry. I’m just… Harry, you fucking scare me sometimes” he murmurs, lowering his gaze to the floor “You have all those nightmares, when you sleep at all that is, and you overwork yourself all the time and you haven’t seen your mum or sister in _a year_ , even if they beg you all the time to go see them”

“I… I can’t face them” Harry answers, and it’s broken and sad, but this is Niall, Niall has been there through thick and thin, and Harry can’t bear to see him so worried.

Niall sighs. “You’re gonna be okay eventually, Haz” he just whispers, pulling Harry in a hug. Harry goes willingly, because Niall’s are the only hugs he gets since he banished himself from the rest of his family. The thought that Anne and Gemma miss him and are worried about him just as much as he misses them and is worried about them kills him.

“Call your mum later, yeah?” Niall says.

Harry nods, his face buried in Niall’s neck. “I will. I promise” he assures, and he kinda wants to just call her _right now_ , but he can’t.

Zayn clears his throat. “Sorry to interrupt” he says, and Harry extricates himself from Niall, a bit startled by just how close Zayn is now. “We’re ready to start” Zayn adds, smiling.

Harry sighs. “I wish I could say the same” he answers, a bit more dramatically than actually necessary.

They’re in the gym, and Harry glares a little at all the tools and benches and weighs as he takes his place in the line formed by Niall, Meredith, Mark, Liza and Grant. Zayn, Louis and Liam are facing them, all three of them in sweatpants and tank tops.

Harry struggles a bit to keep his eyes on Zayn’s face, but he doesn’t think anyone would blame him.

“Very well” Louis says clapping his hands once “We have three days to complete your space training, so it’ll be kinda intensive, and you’ll hate our guts by the time it’s over” he adds, winking at Harry when he repeats what Harry himself told them the night before.

“These suits have been made heavier to reproduce absence of gravity” Liam joins in, pointing at a row of hideously-coloured astronaut suits “So we’ll start by wearing them, and run laps around the room”

Harry groans. “Why? There _is_ artificial gravity in the spacecraft and _actual_ gravity on Cassandra” he complains.

Zayn clearly holds back a snort. “Because, CEng Harry Edward Styles, this is basic space training and we always follow the rules”

“I don’t” Harry mutters.

Meredith laughs. “He really doesn’t” she confirms. Harry smiles at her and blows her a kiss.

Mark arches his eyebrows at him, good-naturedly, and Zayn clears his throat very loudly, his eyebrows shot up as well. “Well, you’ll follow _my_ rules, CEng Harry Edward Styles” he says.

Harry rolls his eyes. “Aye aye, my Captain” he smiles showing all his teeth, and then drags his feet towards the suits, grabbing one and stepping inside of it while the rest of the team does the same.

Harry struggles with closing the zippers and tying the cords around his waist. “How the fuck do astronauts tie all this stuff by themselves I’ll never understand” he grunts, pulling at a strap without being able to tie it.

“Because it’s our job” a warm voice whispers in his ear, and Harry barely has time to suppress a shiver before Zayn’s hands are over his, grabbing the straps from his fingers and tying them with quick and precise movements.

Harry sighs. “Cheers. I hate everything about this” he declares.

Zayn smiles, unfazed. “I think the suit suits you”

“I want my skinnies back” Harry retorts.

Zayn shrugs. “Yeah, they look good on you as well” he concedes, and Harry thinks he’s having a small heart attack at the compliment.

There have been moments in which he’s thought Zayn is flirting with him, but he’s never been that good at realizing this kind of stuff. Harry does well with numbers and percentages, with computer parts and graphs and tests, not with people.

Zayn is most definitely not a computer part and not a percentage, he’s so unreadable. And yet, Harry is amazed by him, by the perfect teeth and smiles and the witty comebacks, and he wants to learn more.

“Oh, do they?” he answers, grinning.

Zayn sighs and nods, his hands still on Harry’s waist, over the damn thick suit, even though all the straps are in place now. “Yeah, they do” he confirms, licking his lips.

Harry is a bit ashamed that that’s all it takes for him to start filling up. It’s been an absurdly long time, hasn’t it? The suit might be horrible and heavy, but Harry blesses it, because there’s just _no_ way anybody can notice his growing boner.

That’s about where all the fun and games end, because as soon as everybody’s ready, the _nightmare_ begins.

Zayn, Louis and Liam make them run laps around the room.

Then, they make them lift.

They make them do benches and push-ups and sit-ups.

All of it with the fucking suit still on.

Harry sweats like a pig, he thinks he strains a couple of muscles, and at some point he swears so loud and articulately that Meredith squeals in horror and Mark laughs and claps.

Zayn, because he’s unreadable but he’s most certainly a little shit, makes Harry do more push-ups when all the others are set free, as a ‘punishment’.

“I’m your fucking _boss_ ” Harry grits through his teeth.

“Thirty, only twenty to go” Zayn counts, not a care in the world, sitting on the floor next to Harry. Harry feels like he’s sweating his brain out of his body.

“I’m gonna fire you”

“Thirty-five”

“I’m gonna report you for abuse of power”

“Forty, and you just said you’re my boss, which means I don’t have any power to abuse” Zayn says with a chuckle.

Harry grunts through the rest of the push-ups, his arms burning, and as soon as Zayn counts “Fifty”, he lets go and collapses face-down on the floor, his muscles shaking in protest. “Let’s have a cuppa tonight at mine if you’re not dead” Zayn says.

Harry feels his stomach do something funny, and raises his face from the floor a little bit. “What?”

Zayn looks down at him, his crinkly smile a bit blinding. “I’m inviting you for tea after dinner, if you don’t hate my guts already”

Harry grins, and sits up with a whine. “I have a tv in my room. You come to mine and bring the tea, we can watch a movie” he says quickly, before he can regret it or second-guess himself “Netflix and chill?” he adds, because he can’t fucking help it.

Zayn clears his throat and nods, and Harry can see a little bit of a blush going on under his light stubble. “Yeah, okay. Sounds cool. Netflix and chill”

 

*

 

Harry doesn’t have time to shower until right before dinner, because as soon as he gets out of the gym, Carson and Olsen tell him one of the unmanned spacecrafts seems to be dead, the signal lost, so Harry spends the whole afternoon trying to fix whatever’s wrong with the program, because he’s certain the spacecraft itself is fine.

There’s some kind of system failure, and Harry has to restart the whole Evangelion three times – which takes more than four hours – before everything’s functioning again.

When he’s done, he sees Zayn staring at him with his mouth a bit agape, like Harry did something extraordinary.

He feels far from it, though, like every time something malfunctions in Evangelion. It’s Harry’s fault, whenever something goes wrong. He needs to accept the responsibility, and he does, he really does, but it doesn’t make him feel less guilty about it.

When this kind of afternoon happens, Harry feels like Robin is staring at the nape of his neck the whole time, from the picture hung in the bullpen.

Harry misses him so much, sometimes. It’s like there’s a fucking hole in the floor of Evangelion, right where Robin should have been, and it’s Harry who fucking dug it.

He doesn’t go to the dining room to have dinner, even though he knows Niall’s waiting for him and saving him food. He doesn’t feel like eating, to be honest.

So he showers, long and thoroughly, and lets the sadness and frustration be replaced with the jitteriness of having a quiet night in with Zayn.

Is it a date? Harry is certain it’s not. Zayn probably just wants to know him better, like Harry does, and it’s fair, considering they’re gonna spend the next few months in the same space. Literally.

He laughs a little to himself, and gets dressed in his tightest jeans and a t-shirt. He could just wear his sweatpants, because they’re staying in his room after all, but seeing that he already popped four unexpected boners when Zayn was around that morning, Harry hopes the skinnies will conceal it at least a little if it happens during the movie.

Zayn won’t be there at least for another half hour, since dinner is just being served in the dining room, so Harry sighs and plops on his bed, deciding to honour the promise he’s made to Niall, and call his mum.

 

*

 

Zayn waits for Harry to show up in the dining room, but Harry doesn’t.

He eats half his dinner with Louis, Liam and Niall, and eyes the plate Niall has set aside for Harry with a frown.

“He ain’t coming, Z” Niall says with a sigh, after he catches Zayn alternate gazes to the plate and to the door.

Zayn hums. “Who?”

Niall arches an eyebrow. “Harry” he says, unnecessarily to anyone sitting at the table “Something went wrong with Evangelion this afternoon. Harry isn’t gonna eat much for the next two days”

Louis frowns. “But it was nothing? And like, Harry fixed it in no fucking time”

Niall shrugs. “It doesn’t matter. Whenever something goes wrong, it… it gets a bit to Haz’s head. He has some self-confidence issues, I guess” he says vaguely.

“Self-confidence issues? CEng Harry Edward Styles, the fucking _creator_ of _this_?” Liam says, gesturing all around them, which means the whole fucking building.

Niall shrugs again. “It’s not that simple, I’m afraid”

Zayn has so many questions on the tip of his tongue, because he notices stuff, always has.

He wants to ask if the issues Harry has come from whatever went wrong in the first mission.

He wants to ask if Harry was there.

He wants to ask if he knew the round man with the glasses, Robin Twist, the one smiling in the pictures hung around the building, because sometimes Zayn’s caught Harry stare at those pictures with half a smile, and half a frown.

He doesn’t ask any of it. He just smiles, gathers his plate and Harry’s, and sighs. “I told him I was gonna meet him at his for a movie” he announces “I’m gonna head there and see if I manage to make him eat something too”

Liam and Louis grin at Zayn, but Niall just stares at him for a moment before replying. “Watch it, Zayn Javadd Malik” he says, and his threatening tone sounds a bit funny, coming from his still laughing eyes and his smile.

Zayn piles the two plates on one arm, and gives Niall the military salute with the other. “Will do, assistant CEng Niall James Horan” he declares.

Niall snorts, and then kicks Zayn in the shin for good measure. “Get the fuck out. And grab him a banana on your way out, he loves ‘em” he tells Zayn.

Zayn does as he’s told, and gets the fuck out of the dining room with the two plates and a banana.

He finds Harry’s room getting lost only once, which he counts as a victory.

He’s about to knock on the door, but then he doesn’t, because he hears Harry’s voice. “Sorry I always disappear, mum” he says, his tone a bit sad.

Someone, clearly Harry’s mum on the phone, sighs. “It’s okay, baby. I just worry about you. I haven’t seen you in so long, Harry”

“I know, I know. It’s just… mum, it’s complicated”

“It’s not” Harry’s mother replies “You take a train and come home to see me. There’s nothing complicated about that”

“It’s not…” Harry’s voice breaks “It’s not the logistics of it. It’s just… I don’t know”

“I do know. It doesn’t take a degree to understand my son, sweetheart. I haven’t seen you in a _year_. Not even once since Robin’s funeral”

Zayn frowns. He feels so bad for eavesdropping, but he can’t help it when he hears that name, the name of the man in the pictures.

Harry sniffles. “I miss him so much, mum” he says, whines.

“I know, baby, I know. It wasn’t your fault, Harry”

Harry laughs. It’s bitter, and Zayn hates it. “I pushed the fucking button, mum. It _is_ my fault”

Harry’s mother is crying as well when she answers. “Have you been blaming yourself for all this time, Harry?”

“What do you think?”

Harry’s mum sighs shakily. “I can’t stand it, Harry. That you’re so full of regrets and guilt. I can’t stand seeing you like this”

“And that’s why I haven’t come home yet after last year” Harry says “I’m sorry, mum, I just can’t. I promise I’ll come back eventually. I just need a little bit more time”

“You’ll go into space before I see you, Harry” his mother answers.

Harry sniffles. “Yeah. But it’ll be good. I won’t fail myself and everybody else this time. I’ll _do_ something, and then I’ll be ready to come home”

Harry’s mum sighs. “Okay, baby. Do whatever it is you need. I’ll be home. Waiting for you. Like I’ve always been”

“Thanks, mum. I love you. I’ll talk to you soon”

“I love you too, my baby. Take care of yourself, yeah?”

“Yeah, I will. Bye, mum”

The call is clearly over, but Zayn waits a couple more minutes to let Harry gather himself a little bit.

When he hears rustles and movements coming from behind the door, Zayn decides it’s safe, and knocks with his foot, since his hands are both occupied.

Harry opens the door, and his eyes are a bit red, but he looks amazing as usual. “Zayn?” he frowns “Is dinner already over?”

Zayn grins. “I didn’t see you at dinner, so I brought dinner to you” he announces, letting himself in.

Harry sighs and closes the door. “Sorry. I was talking to my mum” he says.

Zayn is tempted to answer with a “Yeah, I heard”, but in the end he just smiles and nods. “She alright?” he just asks instead.

Harry sighs. “Yeah, she is. Would be better if I had the guts to go home and see her, to be honest” he replies, and then forces his mouth shut, like he didn’t really mean to say that.

Zayn doesn’t answer, deciding to cut Harry some slack since he’s obviously on edge.

So Zayn grins and shows Harry the banana. “A little Irish bird told me you like bananas” he announces.

Harry smiles a bit more, and Zayn feels something stir in his chest.

 

*

 

Nothing happens between Harry and Zayn in the next three days.

They train with the others.

Zayn watches Harry obsess over the Evangelion, running tests and tests on everything even if nothing is wrong since the small bug in the system he fixed in no time on Zayn’s first day at the mission control.

Harry stares at Robin Twist’s picture with a gaze so sad Zayn doesn’t find it in his heart to ask anything about him.

Zayn finds Harry in the observatory late at night, sometimes, staring at Cassie with a small, dimpled smile.

They watch movies on Harry’s Netflix.

They talk.

Zayn still feels like there’s something fundamental about Harry he doesn’t know, but that’s the only thing Harry never mentions, and Zayn could ask around, but he doesn’t.

He wants Harry to tell him himself. And if Harry’s not ready, well, Zayn will wait.

Zayn is also waiting for Harry to show any clear signs that he likes Zayn, but that’s not happening either. Harry can be like an open book, but when it’s about what it is they’re doing, spending all their time together and bickering and flirting, Zayn can’t exactly read him.

And it’s been such a short time. They’ve known each other for four days, Jesus. Zayn’s never fallen for someone that quick, but there you have it, because he has no doubts he’s fallen for CEng Harry Edward Styles.

Harry seems to enjoy Zayn’s company, but he also stays motionless whenever Zayn lamely tries to scoot closer to him during a movie. He retreats his hand when Zayn’s fingers ‘accidentally’ brush his as he shows Zayn something in one of the monitors of the bullpen. Harry blushes when Zayn compliments his hair and dimples and tight jeans, but he never does _more_ than that.

When it’s about whatever relationship they’re building, Harry is unreadable.

 _Sometimes it’s like Haz’s an open book, but it’s a book about quantum physics_ , Niall has told Zayn on his second day at the station.

For the rest, however, Zayn is really enjoying preparing for the mission.

It would be even more enjoyable if Ben fucking Winston wasn’t there.

Winston and Cowell are technically their superiors, even if astronauts aren’t really military. Zayn knows he should be more respectful, but he just can’t help it, because Ben Winston is a dickhead.

He always looks like he’s _this_ close to power abuse.

He treats their team like shit, especially Meredith and Liza.

He always finds problems with the Evangelion, problems that aren’t even a _thing_ , and which make Harry almost have a coronary anyway every two hours.

Ben makes jokes about Niall being useless since Harry’s there, and even though Niall doesn’t care, Zayn does.

Mostly, if Zayn is honest, it’s how he behaves around Harry. If Zayn had any doubts about what Harry told him about Ben, which he didn’t have anyway, they’re immediately confirmed by Ben himself and how he leans too close over Harry when Harry’s explaining something, how he stares at Harry, how he generally behaves in every way he isn’t legally allowed to behave.

Zayn thinks that if Ben touches Harry on the arm and Harry flinches one more time, he might say a big fuck it to it all and report him for harassment.

As it is, Harry never complains. He just keeps flinching and scooting away from Ben, and goes an embarrassed shade of red whenever he catches sight of Zayn noticing.

Zayn really doesn’t like Ben Winston.

After three days, the team training is over, and everything is settled and ready for the launch of the spacecraft.

The spacecraft Zayn still hasn’t _seen_ , he thinks with a whiny sigh to himself.

He’s wandering around the Evangelion, and it’s late at night, and he should be getting some sleep like Louis, Liam and the rest of the people are doing.

But he’s too jittery and nervous, so he roams around the station and gives it one last tour, because he really loves this place, and he won’t be here for the next three months at least.

He doesn’t go look for Harry in his room, even though he’s pretty sure Harry’s even more awake and jittery than he is. At least Zayn’s already been to space. Harry hasn’t.

Nonetheless, he decides to leave Harry alone, because it’s true that they’ve been glued by the hip in the last four days, but maybe Harry wants some quiet anyway.

Zayn stops by the right wall of the bullpen, where pictures are hung. One of them is the picture that has been on his mind the most in the last few days. The caption says _Robin Twist, Astronaut, Forever Missed_. Robin Twist was a man with a round face and glasses, salt-and-pepper hair and beard, and a lovely smile scrunching his whole face.

“What happened to you?” Zayn murmurs, with a sigh.

“He’s not gonna answer, you know” someone behind him says, and Zayn jolts a little, although he recognizes the voice immediately.

“Hey!” he exclaims when he sees Harry standing there with his shoulders a bit hunched “Sorry, didn’t see you”

He knows he sounds guilty, like he was caught doing something that he shouldn’t be doing, and it’s saying something, considering that Zayn never sounds guilty, even when he’s _really_ caught red-handed. And he used to get caught red-handed a lot when he was in the astronaut program. Even after he graduated, if he’s honest.

Harry chuckles. “Why do you sound like I caught you with your hands in the biscuit jar?”

Zayn chuckles as well. “I should be sleeping” he replies “And, well, you too. Mr. CEng Harry Edward Styles, head of the team, maker of the Evangelion”

Harry sighs. “I couldn’t sleep” he says “Were you… talking to Robin?”

“I guess?” Zayn winces “I know it’s weird”

“It isn’t. I’ve talked more to him than to my mother in the last year” Harry murmurs, taking a step backwards to stand right next to Zayn and look at the picture “He was my stepfather” he then adds, and Zayn’s insides twist a little bit.

“Oh. Harry, I’m… I’m sorry for your loss”, is the only eloquent response that Zayn manages to get out.

Harry nods. “Yeah, thanks. He… he died. As I think it’s pretty clear already”

“How did it happen?” Zayn asks, and immediately regrets it. He keeps his eyes on the picture, cursing himself for his eagerness, and a bit scared Harry will close off.

Harry does close off, goes a bit rigid, but not completely. “There was an accident. He died, and six other people with him” he just says, coldly “I’m sure you heard”

Zayn nods. “I don’t know much else, to be honest. They never tell the astronauts shit, at NASA”

Harry chuckles, and it’s kinda bitter. “Someone… made mistakes. And… we couldn’t do anything”

Zayn feels nausea rise up in his throat. “Fuck, Harry, were… were you _here_ when it happened?”

Harry nods. “Watched all of it with my own fucking eyes” he says, murmurs, and keeps his eyes on the picture.

“Fuck” Zayn sighs “I’m so sorry, Harry”

“I used to think he was immortal” Harry hums “But he wasn’t. I went away after he died, you know. Swore never to come back. But then I couldn’t refuse. It’s… what you do, what I do, it’s so important. It’s the future, Zayn. And life is so fucking short” he sighs and sniffles.

Zayn hasn’t asked much, but it’s the first time that Harry is willingly speaking about more personal stuff, and even if it’s not good stuff, Zayn takes it. Because he wants to know Harry, wants it so much he’s feeling a bit crazy with it.

“Do you wanna see the Eva 02, Zayn?” Harry asks out of the blue.

Zayn’s head is spinning a little. “What?”

“The Eva 02. Do you wanna see it?”

“You said that you’re legally not allowed to show it to anyone unless Cowell or Winston is there” Zayn tries, but he already feels it, the thrum in his veins, the excitement of breaking the rules in a life where rules are all he follows. _Zayn Malik is… a bit reckless, to say the least_ , someone said at NASA once.

Harry shrugs. “You’re gonna see it tomorrow anyway. And I don’t care about Cowell and Winston” he says “What are they gonna do, fire me? Good luck with the Evangelion when I’m gone”

Zayn snorts. “Such a rebel” he says with his funny accent, which never fails to make Harry laugh. It doesn’t fail this time either.

Harry starts walking towards the stairs. “Come on, Zayn Javadd Malik. I’ve been told you’re quite hot-headed as well”

Zayn grins, and runs after Harry without another word.

They’re silent as they go down the stairs, to the basement Zayn has only seen the door of. Harry’s giggling a little bit, though, and he takes a deep breath when they reach the heavy metal door with no handle. There’s a pad just on the right side of it, and Zayn watches Harry retrieve his badge from the back pocket of his jeans, sliding it on the pad. A light green pops up, _CEng Harry Edward Styles_ flashing on the screen, and a moment later the metal door slides open.

Zayn is standing on the ball of his feet while Harry chuckles at him and precedes him inside, turning on some light. Zayn follows him, and doesn’t watch Harry close the door behind them, because he’s too busy looking _in front of him_.

The Eva 02 is red, as Harry told him. It’s _beautiful_ , is the thing, a big fucking spacecraft shaped as a slick oval. It’s huge, surely able to contain at least four sections as big as any room in Zayn’s house, and it looks like it’s a two-storey model, with the fuel chamber on the bottom. There’s a port from where the astronauts can perform the launching to exit the vehicle, the safe handle round and black.

The round windows are spotless, allowing Zayn to peek inside, where he can’t see much because the lights are of course turned off in the spacecraft. He can still make out the control room, though, buttons and wheels, chairs, even tables.

The side reads _EVA 02_ in bold, white letters.

“Fuck” he hisses “Harry, this… this is…”

Harry smiles. “Pretty cool, yeah?”

“ _Pretty cool_?!” Zayn shrieks trying to lower his voice “This is fucking _amazing_ , Harry, I’ve never been in a spacecraft this big, it was only three people tops, this is an actual submarine for the sky, fuck, it’s…” he doesn’t finish the sentence, too astounded to keep elaborating.

Harry chuckles. “Sorry it took me so long to break the rules and show it to you” he says.

“Did you fucking build this too?” Zayn asks.

Harry laughs. “Only the system. The actual spacecraft was built in Germany”

“Shit” Zayn mutters, taking some steps forward and reverently touching the side of the spacecraft. It’s smooth and cool under his palm.

“Reckless enough for your taste?” Harry asks, with a grin.

Zayn is a bit reckless, it’s true.

When he starts moving, he also knows this is probably the riskiest thing he’s done in a while.

But he does it anyway.

He grabs Harry by the hips, shoving him into the side of the Eva 02, and kisses him.

Harry _oof_ s a little, but he feels like warm butter under Zayn’s hands and lips as he sighs and returns the kiss, his eyes closed. Zayn’s heart is hammering its way out of his chest, which is saying something, since he always gets the best results in heart under pressure scans.

“Your mind is the most beautiful fucking thing about you, and you have no idea” Zayn whispers on Harry’s lips.

Harry smiles. He doesn’t answer, but he parts his lips some more, and Zayn takes the hint, prodding at them with his tongue until he’s licking at the roof of Harry’s mouth, warm and wet and wonderful, and Harry’s hands are roaming under Zayn’s tank top, his nails lightly scratching up his abs.

They keep snogging for an indefinite amount of time, until Harry’s hands start to wander lower, much lower, at the waistband of Zayn’s trackpants, his fingers ghosting over Zayn’s dick, already too hard and demanding attention.

“Do you wanna look some more?” Harry asks in a sigh, and it takes Zayn a moment to understand he’s talking about the Eva 02, because for a second he thinks Harry’s talking about himself, since Zayn can’t seem to be able to stop staring at his eyes, his dimples, his everything.

Zayn shakes his head. “I’ll live in it from tomorrow, right?” he chuckles “Plenty of time to look at it some more. I’d rather look at you now”

“You’ll live with me as well from tomorrow” Harry replies, and it’s serious, more serious than their current situation entails.

Zayn understands the unspoken question, though. “Then I’ll have plenty of time to look at you some more as well” he says.

Harry chuckles. “Okay” he just says “You can look”

“Good” Zayn grins, and attacks his lips again.

They stumble out of the basement, Harry giggling as he tries to lock the door again with his badge while Zayn plasters himself on his back, pressing his erection on the small of Harry’s back and grabbing his hips, digging his fingers in them and making Harry chuckle, sigh and squirm at the same time.

Once Harry’s sure that the door is nice and locked, he laughs and starts eagerly pushing Zayn up the stairs and through the corridor towards his own room. Once they get to Harry’s door, it’s kind of a blur.

Zayn vaguely perceives the door opening and then closing again as they rush inside, clothes being hastily removed while they kiss and bite at each other’s lips. Harry backs Zayn towards his tiny, single bed, and Zayn doesn’t worry about how they’re gonna fit in it because suddenly they’re naked and lying down on the mattress, Harry straddling Zayn and attacking his pulse point with gentle nips of his teeth and slow brushes of his tongue.

They’re both lucky Harry is able to find a stray condom in his wallet, because of course Zayn didn’t bring any with him when he moved to the Evangelion four days prior. That’s a problem for another time, though. A quick check of the expiry date makes Harry heave a relieved sigh and Zayn laughs, getting a hold of the bottle of lube Harry got from his bedside drawer.

Zayn is so hard it hurts, and it’s so good, when Harry finally wraps a hand around his dick and tugs for a moment, that he has to breathe through his nose and close his eyes to avoid coming right there and then. The pressure and the sight of Harry’s concentrated gaze fixed on Zayn’s eyes might be too much, very soon.

Zayn squirts lube on his fingers, and slowly prods one at Harry’s entrance, circling his rim with his fingertip and then pushing in when Harry’s hips stutter and he tries to sink down on Zayn’s index. “Slow, slow” Zayn murmurs “I want it to be slow and good for you” he adds, keeping a quiet pace as he slides his finger in and out, adding another when Harry feels ready to take more.

Harry whimpers, and his skin is veiled with sweat, his arms straining to keep him upright on top of Zayn, one on each side of Zayn’s head.

By the time the fingers are three, Harry doesn’t want to waste any more time, it seems. “Can I ride you? I wanna ride you” he asks bluntly.

Zayn is already nodding frantically when Harry is mid-sentence. Harry nods too, unwrapping the condom and rolling it down Zayn’s length with quick, precise, concentrated movements, which oddly remind Zayn of the focused stare Harry reserves to the monitors in the station.

Zayn lines himself up with Harry’s hole, and Harry emits two shaky sighs before starting to lower himself down on Zayn’s dick, his head thrown backwards and his curls bouncing.

“You’re so fucking beautiful” Zayn mutters, a bit astonished that this is actually happening.

Harry chuckles and closes his eyes as he sits completely still. He’s tight, so tight Zayn actually starts to see white.

Harry starts to move right away, not even giving himself that much time to adjust, and Zayn looks at him a bit worried, but he seems already sated and wrecked at the same time. “So good, so good, fuck, Zayn, you feel so good” he keeps uttering, his hips rolling on Zayn’s for a while before he actually starts to push himself up and then down, the friction and the tightness sending jolts to Zayn’s stomach.

He grabs Harry by the hips, not to guide him, just to have something to hold on to. He lets Harry do whatever he pleases, because it’s already too good, so much more than whatever Zayn’s felt in a long, unbearably long time.

Harry doesn’t see himself for what he’s worth, and Zayn knows, like he also knows how Harry will never be able to see what _Zayn_ sees in him. The cleverness, the intelligence, the beauty, the way his hair perfectly frames his face and his skin is just a perfect shade of pink while Zayn fucks up into him.

Zayn sees it, though, now so much clearer than before, and he knows he won’t be able to let Harry go any time soon.

“You always stare at me” Harry pants, groans, his green eyes fixated on Zayn “Why?”

Zayn murmurs a curse and a groan of his own before mustering the strength to reply. “You have no… no idea, do you” he sighs “About all the things I see when I look at you”

“What do you see?” Harry asks, bouncing harder on Zayn.

Zayn chuckles. “I see whole constellations when I look at you, Harry” he says, whispering, like it’s something too intense to be said out loud.

Harry comes after that, completely untouched. He whimpers and shouts, his whole back arching on Zayn, hot come landing on Zayn’s chest.

When Harry comes, he clenches around Zayn so hard it takes exactly half a second for Zayn to follow him in his orgasm. He tightens his grip on Harry’s hips, and comes on a litany of Harry’s name, seeing starlight and constellations in the back of his eyelids, while Harry keeps riding him even though he’s probably feeling oversensitive and sore.

They don’t speak much afterwards, but Harry asks Zayn to stay with him.

Zayn smiles and nods and kisses him, and even if their backs are gonna be fucked up in the morning if they spend the night in Harry’s tiny bed, he doesn’t want to be anywhere else.

So he stays.

 

*

 

Mere hours later, it’s already a new day, and they both wake up tangled in each other.

They kiss and get ready in silence, and Zayn can see Harry’s nervous. And of course he is, it’s his first time in an actual spacecraft, and he’s gonna spend months studying a new fucking planet where life is possible.

So Zayn smiles at him, and kisses him one more time for good measure before they’re dressed and ready to go.

Go for real.

Harry also smiles and kisses Zayn as he precedes him towards the basement, where the Eva 02 is gonna be ready for launch very soon.

 _It’s a brand new day, isn’t it_ , Zayn tells himself with a smile.

Harry keeps smiling, and that’s another small victory.

Zayn resolutely doesn’t ask Harry about the nightmare he’s had during the night, where he’s sweated and screamed and held onto Zayn for dear life in his sleep as he cried and called out Robin’s name.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually supposed to be a short fic, but alas, my writing compulsion took over.  
> Let me know what you're thinking :)  
> I am also on Tumblr as wont-you-stay-till-the-am.tumblr.com, come hit me up if you wanna talk.


	3. Space-walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the Eva 02 finally leaves Earth, the sky becomes instantly dark, with the sun on their opposite side.  
> Up close, the stars look like what they really are. Cute balls of light.  
> Harry gasps, and Zayn allows himself to shift his focus to him again.  
> It’s kinda like still looking at the stars, he thinks in a rare moment of sentimentality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual disclaimer: I don't know or own any of the characters present in this work. I only own the plot and any eventual original character.

 

 

**A year earlier**

Robin smiles at Harry while buttoning up his suit and holding his helmet under his arm.

Harry chuckles. “You look pretty excited to fuck off into the void” he comments.

Robin grins and gets closer to Harry, hugging him and then grabbing him by his shoulders to look at him in the eyes. “This is the _future_ , my son” he says with a sparkle in his eyes “What I’m doing, what _you’re_ doing, it’s so important”

Harry nods in Robin’s hug. “I’m honestly just watching you go and monitoring you from down here” he replies.

Robin laughs. “You _made_ this, Harry” he sighs, throwing an arm around and encompassing the whole Evangelion “You built all this, you discovered Cassandra and Medea”

“The monitoring team did”

Robin rolls his eyes, a grin still in place on his lips. “You saw the purple behind Achilles first” he retorts, stubbornly “You gave ‘em names. All of this is your kid just as much as you are my kid”

Harry chuckles and hugs Robin again. “I’m gonna miss you. But I’m gonna be right here watching you”

Robin nods and squeezes Harry a bit tighter before letting him go and giving him a military salute. “Take care of your mum for me in the next month. And don’t kill Winston while I’m away” he tells Harry, and then he joins the rest of the team as they finish saying their goodbyes, go to the launch ground, and enter the Eva 01.

It’s a beauty, the Eva 01, a light shade of lilac and oval in shape, although Harry doesn’t like it as much as he’s gonna like the Eva 02, about to be built in Germany once this mission will be over.

When the team is all settled and their seatbelts fastened for the launch, Harry takes his privileged spot at the main monitor.

He’s afraid. He has this deep gut feeling that something’s gonna go wrong, but he tells himself that nothing will, because he’s done and redone the calculations, re-checked every nook and cranny of the Evangelion system, and the Eva 01’s, with Niall and his engineering team, and then again one last time by himself, the night before.

Harry sits at his chair in front of the main screen, and Cowell and Winston stand at each of his sides, their hands locked behind their backs and expectant smiles on their faces.

“Whenever you’re ready, CEng Harry Styles” Robin says from the inside of the spacecraft, through the transmitter.

Harry’s sweating. His stomach is all upside down, and he really doesn’t get why the control team can’t press the launch button like it should happen. _It’s just a button, kid, but it’s a symbol. You made this. It’s your right and responsibility_ , Robin has told Harry a thousand times.

Harry raises his head to look at Cowell. Cowell nods. “Whenever you’re ready, CEng Harry Styles” he repeats, with a small smile.

Harry takes a breath, staring at the monitor where the inside of the spacecraft is shown. Robin’s there, all buckled up and a grin on his lips.

Harry nods. And pushes the launch button.

The pilot of the Eva 01, a nice man called Adam who Harry particularly likes for his absurdly bad puns, smiles at Harry through the camera and pushes his own buttons at the wheel of the vehicle.

Everybody claps as the Eva 01 starts to take off, the engines roaring.

The alarm starts to go off right about then.

Harry’s stomach flips when the red, blinking signal reading _ANOMALY FOUND_ appears on his screen, and on every other screen in the bullpen.

“Fuck” Harry mutters “Robin, do you copy?” he screams in the mic. The alarm’s not stopping.

Everything’s shaking inside the spacecraft. “Harry, there’s something wrong!” Robin shouts.

“Harry, there’s an anomaly in the engine chamber” Adam says, screams. The engine’s roaring.

Harry’s brain is whirring harder and louder than the spacecraft as he pushes buttons, his fingers shaking, trying and failing to punch in the sequence to switch the screen to the camera in the engine chamber in the bottom of the Eva 01.

When he finally manages, he sees that the space-mode panel in the chamber is turned off.

The space-mode panel is the heart of the spacecraft, Harry thinks frantically. If it’s not working, it means the engine is not going to hold the pressure of flight.

Harry checked the space-mode panel at least four times the day before.

His eyes dart to another screen, where the outside of the Eva 01 is shown. The spacecraft has already taken off, it’s at least two meters in the air, and it’s going up and up.

“We have to abort mission” Harry says, to no one, to everyone “It’s too dangerous, there’s something wrong with the space-mode panel”

“We cannot abort mission now!” Ben Winston exclaims “It’s already taken off!”

Harry stands up, pushing the chair away from the desk and sending it tumbling backwards. He faces Winston, and feels the eyes of everyone in the bullpen on his back. “I said” Harry enunciates angrily “We have to abort the mission. The space-mode’s off, the engine is not gonna hold, and it’s dangerous. The whole fucking Eva 01 could blow to pieces”

Winston stutters, but Cowell’s nodding. “Abort the mission” he says in the mic.

Harry sees everyone in the spacecraft nod through the camera. Everything is still trembling, he can barely see them. Robin’s face is pale.

Adam turns the wheel of the Eva, and then curses. “Harry?” he says “The spacecraft isn’t responding”

“What?” Harry screams “Adam, you have to land right the fuck now!”

“I can’t!” Adam shouts over the blaring alarm “The commands don’t work!”

“Use the auto-pilot” Harry says quickly “Use the auto-pilot with the destination ‘home’ and it’ll make you land”

That’s another thing Harry personally designed, like the rest of the commands and structure of the Eva 01. It has to work, Harry thinks.

Adam curses again. “Auto-pilot not responding” he says.

The red alarm changes to an even redder one, reading _EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY_.

“Fuck fuck fuck” Harry hisses “Adam, take the parachutes and abandon the spacecraft. You’re still only ten meters up, you…”

Harry doesn’t have time to finish the sentence.

Everything goes white, then black.

The explosion makes everything in the bullpen violently rattle. Things fall off desks, chairs tumble. Two monitors unhinge themselves from their supports and crash on the floor sending shards flying.

Harry feels bile rise up his throat. “Robin?” he shouts in the mic “Robin? Dad?”

There’s no answer.

Everybody’s running outside. The launch ground is only a mile away from the Evangelion.

Harry runs faster than everyone, passes them by, falling three times before pushing the door open.

All he sees is smoke and fire.

Harry keeps running, his boots raising dust from the terrain where the Evangelion is built, in the middle of fucking nowhere. He runs and runs, until he trips on something. The smoke is impeding his visual, but when he grabs the thing he tripped on, he recognizes the steel plate with the E of the EVA 01 which had been engraved in the side of the spacecraft.

“Styles, come back immediately!” he hears Cowell shout behind him, and then the Captain grabs him by an arm.

Harry, of course, doesn’t listen. He punches Cowell in the face, and he’s surely more surprised than hurt, but lets Harry go.

He keeps going, his thigh muscles burning.

The smoke gradually clears.

When Harry reaches the spacecraft, it’s not there anymore.

All he sees are metal scraps, parts of the vehicle, burned, crumpled steel, and blood.

 

*

 

They have a military funeral service, even though astronauts are technically not in the military.

Anne is wearing black. Harry thinks it doesn’t really suit her, makes her look paler than she is.

Gemma’s crying.

Harry isn’t.

He doesn’t say a word to anyone as he watches people lowering Robin’s coffin in the ground. The thought that there’s nothing inside of it, because Robin’s body was just pulp in the remnants of the Eva 01, makes Harry’s nausea rise up.

He leaves the metal E of the Eva 01 by the plate with Robin’s name. There’s not even a tombstone yet. They can’t make the tombstones so quickly, when someone dies too suddenly. Without any warning.

The nausea increases.

That’s all he’s felt in the past weeks.

There has been a process, a military one.

Harry thinks he should have been accused and arrested, the key thrown away forever.

The team of engineers, scientists and police charged with the task of finding a cause and a culprit think otherwise.

They say it wasn’t Harry’s fault, it wasn’t anyone’s fault.

An unpredictable anomaly of the system, a cable short-circuiting in the space-mode panel. That’s the actual cause of the accident which killed seven people, Robin Twist among them.

Harry knows it’s his fault, though.

He’s been careless. He should have checked everything was fine just _one more time_.

 _It’s your right and responsibility_ , Robin has told him countless times. _It’s your fault_ , it means now.

Harry didn’t check enough. Harry pressed the button.

Harry killed them.

When the coffin is covered in soil, Harry thinks that he’s never called Robin ‘Dad’ before, even though Robin has been a father to him in every way, for forever.

The only time Harry’s actually called him ‘Dad’ was right in the moment of the explosion, and Robin was already dead and didn’t hear him.

He’ll never hear it, now.

 

\---

 

**Today**

When they reach the launch ground, everybody in their team is already there. Zayn sees Louis and Liam stare at the Eva 02 and gape. He chuckles, perfectly understanding the feeling, but then he remembers he’s also supposed to be seeing the spacecraft for the first time, so he tries to make a good show of how impressed and surprised he is.

Harry laughs a little, but it’s very weak. Zayn looks at him, but Harry goes straight for Niall, who is already wearing the suit they’re supposed to wear for the launch, like everybody else.

There’s two suits placed by the entrance of the Eva 02, one for Zayn, and one for Harry.

Niall puts his hands on Harry’s shoulders, and sighs. “Haz, relax. I checked everything. Twice. Space-mode panel four times”

Harry nods, but then he also shakes his head. “Sorry, sorry, I’m gonna check by myself one last time and then we can go” he says, and bolts off.

Nobody speaks as Harry goes for the bottom of the Eva 02, where a pad is located, and punches in a ten-digits code. A panel wheezes open, automatically rising until a series of cables and small screens is exposed.

Zayn hears and sees Winston sigh. “We’re gonna be so fucking off-schedule” the vice-Captain says.

Zayn sighs too. “It’s his job. Let him do it. Cassandra and her purple trees are still gonna be there even if we take off in ten more minutes”

Cowell chuckles. “Mr. Malik’s right, Mr. Winston” he nods “Let Mr. Styles do his thing. We don’t wanna make him even more nervous about this” he adds, looking at Harry fussing over the panel.

Winston rolls his eyes. “He’s nervous for everything in this fucking mission. I can’t believe we’re even taking him”

Zayn opens his mouth, a salty reply already on the tip of his tongue, but Louis’s quicker. “Well, vice-Captain Winston, as I understand it, we wouldn’t even _know_ about Cassandra without our _nervous_ CEng, so maybe we can let him be nervous about it, yeah?”

Winston raises his eyebrows, but he doesn’t reply.

“Okay” Zayn hears Harry say at last “Everything’s fine. We can go”

Zayn sees all the small screens in the panel flash green as the cover slides in place over them again, and the next moment Liam’s handing him his suit while Niall does the same with Harry.

Zayn would like to help Harry with the suit like he always does in training, and also to wipe that small frown off his forehead. But he can’t, so he just keeps looking at him until he’s sure the suit’s placed properly by Niall.

Then, they all climb the stairs and get inside the Eva 02.

Zayn has already seen the Eva 02, but only from the outside, so this time he’s _really_ surprised when he looks around as they follow Cowell and Winston through a short entryway and up to the launching room.

Everything looks like a smaller version of the Evangelion. The roof is not as high, of course, and there aren’t going to be different floors except for the one they’re on and the engine chamber under them, but Zayn can spot another small corridor probably leading to more rooms, and a room that kinda looks like the bullpen in the Evangelion. The only difference is that the commands and pilot seats for the spacecraft are there as well, because Zayn recognizes the tall row of buttons and the different wheels in front of the two big chairs at the further end of the room, where a gigantic window is also positioned.

Zayn doesn’t have time to look around more, because soon they’re all heading to the belted seats placed in front of the huge window, just a few feet away from the pilot seats. Liza and Grant, the pilots of the Eva 02, smile brightly and take their position, buckling up and bumping fists before starting to turn on the machine.

“Are you all set?” Wayland’s voice comes from the intercoms.

Zayn smiles with all his teeth at one of the cameras. He’s got a quite turbulent relationship with Wayland, to say the least, forged by the thousand times the fifty-year-old man has found Zayn in the nook by the windows in the observatory, late at night, staring at the stars and the planets with the cannon-shaped telescopes.

Wayland can be grumpy, but Zayn thinks the old man loves him a little bit. “Shut up and buckle up, Mr. Malik” Wayland says.

“I didn’t even _say_ anything!” Zayn retorts.

Wayland grunts in the mic.

Everybody chuckles and takes a seat, Zayn making sure to be seated right next to Harry.

Harry’s freaking out as he fails to properly buckle his belt at least three times. His hands are shaking, and his eyes are big in his face, Zayn can see it even if Harry is staring at an undefined spot on the floor.

Zayn is about to ask him if he needs – or _wants_ – help, but then Harry abruptly turns to face Winston sitting behind them with Cowell. “Can I check space-mode just one last time?” he asks, begs, really.

Winston heaves a condescending sigh and rolls his eyes. “ _No_ , Harry, you _can’t_. It’s _fine_ ” he growls.

Harry jolts a little and almost whimpers, turning again to sit properly and struggling with the buckle again.

“Harry” Zayn whispers, his hands going over Harry’s and taking control of the buckle “Breathe. Everything’s going to be great. You’re great. You built this. I’m sure everything works perfectly”

Harry raises a set of scared, teary eyes on Zayn’s. “No, Zayn, you don’t understand, it’s…”

Zayn shushes him, giving him his best reassuring smile. “Everything’s gonna be great” he repeats, keeping his eyes and smile on Harry while finally buckling the belt without even looking at it.

Harry sighs, looks at the belt, then at Zayn’s own belt, and then in his eyes again. “I’m scared” he says.

Zayn nods. “Understandable. It’s your first time in space. I puked my first time, I was so nervous” he admits, hoping Harry will laugh a little.

Harry, unfortunately, doesn’t find the image of Zayn Javadd Malik puking even remotely funny, and he’s slowly going a light shade of green himself, so Zayn doesn’t have any remorse in grabbing one of Harry’s hands. “Hazza” he says “Breathe, yeah? If you’re the one who built this and you’re scared, everyone else is gonna be scared as well”

Harry takes two or three deep breaths together with Zayn, and Zayn kinda wants to snog him in front of Ben fucking Winston, but incredibly manages to restrain himself and his traitorous dick, which is starting to fatten at the mere idea of being a knight in shining space suit saving the CEng in distress.

Harry stops shaking almost completely, but he doesn’t let go of Zayn’s hand as Wayland and the mission control team launch the spacecraft while Liza and Grant do the same.

The engine roars to complete life with a deafening rumble.

“Please please please please,” Harry’s murmuring without stopping, his eyes wide open and his eyelids trembling.

Zayn doesn’t speak. He squeezes Harry’s hand a bit more, and braces himself for take-off.

Everything goes swiftly, Zayn can feel it in the way the engine hums steadily and the spacecraft jumps into the air in a long, smooth take-off.

The take-off procedure lasts almost thirty minutes, and then Zayn hears the clapping of the people in the Evangelion, coming from the intercom, and finally manages to take his eyes off Harry and look at the giant window covering the whole wall where the pilot seats are placed.

They’re breaching the Earth atmosphere already. Zayn feels the thrum of excitement rushing in his veins, making his heart beat faster. His stomach drops a bit against the pressure, and his hand is probably crushing Harry, both their palms clammed with sweat.

When the Eva 02 finally leaves Earth, the sky becomes instantly dark, with the sun on their opposite side.

Up close, the stars look like what they really are. Cute balls of light.

Harry gasps, and Zayn allows himself to shift his focus to him again.

It’s kinda like still looking at the stars, he thinks in a rare moment of sentimentality.

Harry’s eyes are big and fixed on the stars they can see from the window.

“You can unbuckle and do your things” Liza says with a giggle “We’re in fucking space and we’re stable and going”

Harry laughs, then. It’s a sweet, weak laugh, and his hand is still in Zayn’s, but he does laugh, green eyes never leaving the window. “We did it” he whispers.

Zayn nods even if Harry isn’t looking at him. “Yeah, CEng Harry Edward Styles” he replies with a sigh “We did it. And _you_ made it happen”

Harry takes his eyes off the stars, and finally looks at Zayn, eyes sparkling like their own private constellation. “Thanks” he whispers to Zayn, and it could mean a thousand different things, _thanks for helping_ , _thanks for believing_ , _thanks for being here_. Zayn takes it and cherishes it, whatever it means.

When they’re able to tear their gazes off each other, they realize all the seats around them are empty, and no one is in the spacecraft bullpen except for, of course, the pilots.

“They went away to do their actual jobs” Grant comments, faking a pissed tone at the two of them.

Harry chuckles. “Right” he says, embarrassedly, and unbuckles his belt, standing up.

Zayn does the same, and is again struck by just how _good_ the Eva 02 is. He feels like he’s still on the ground, it’s so smooth.

“I’ll go…” Harry starts, but Zayn raises a finger and interrupts him.

“Not yet. Come here first” he tells Harry, because they’re about to pass by fucking Mercury, and like hell Harry is gonna miss the scene.

Harry lets Zayn take him by the hand, probably feeling safe because no one is there to look at their – admittedly – inappropriate behaviour on the job. Zayn cheers for the small victory, and guides Harry to one of the lateral windows.

Right on time, Mercury shows up.

“That’s fucking Mercury” Harry mutters, hands and nose plastered to the plexiglass.

Zayn has seen Mercury up close about ten times.

What he’s never seen is Harry seeing a planet up close for the first time.

The show doesn’t disappoint him in the slightest, because Harry smiles a small, amazed, dimpled smile, and his eyes shine brighter than whole galaxies.

They stay by the window, Harry staring at Mercury and Zayn staring at Harry, until Grant is suddenly next to them. “Cool, huh?” he comments loudly, scaring the shit out of both of them.

Zayn squeals, although he’d rather die than admit it. “Is Liza piloting this whole fucking thing _alone_ right now?”

It’s Harry who answers, laughing. “Yeah, as it should be” he explains “The auto-pilot acts as an actual second pilot. The Eva 02 is built to be piloted by two people at take-off and landing, but at all other times one real person is necessary, and the bots will do the rest”

“Fuck” Zayn exhales. He can’t really believe it, that a spacecraft so big only needs one person. He’s been in much smaller spacecrafts which had even more than two pilots.

Harry chuckles again, and the three of them say bye to Liza – Harry talking her head off first about calling them at the minimal microscopic tiniest sign of anomaly – and join the others in the adjacent room.

Every time Zayn takes a step, he’s also reminded that he’s never actually _walked_ in a spacecraft.

The Eva 02 is the first spacecraft with a system of artificial gravity.

Or is it?

“Was there artificial gravity on the Eva 01 as well? The one that broke?” Zayn asks Harry and Grant.

Harry staggers, shouldering the door and blatantly trying to pretend he was just knocking.

“Yes” Grant answers with a tight smile “Not as sophisticated as this one. But yeah, they had artificial gravity on the Eva 01”

Zayn frowns and looks at Harry’s back as they enter the room. Harry doesn’t turn and doesn’t comment on either the question or the answer.

It’s the dining room, Zayn reckons. Everybody is there, sitting around a rectangular steel table. On the far end of the room, Zayn sees cabinets full of pre-cooked food, and sighs internally, bracing himself for the astronaut diet he’s gonna face in the next month at least.

Niall raises his head from a tablet and looks at Harry. Harry holds his gaze and sits in the empty chair next to him, avoiding Zayn’s eyes, or maybe Zayn’s just imagining things.

Zayn sits down in another empty chair, four people away from Harry, which also means close to Ben Winston. It’s just his fucking luck.

Winston is looking at Harry a bit too intently for Zayn’s liking, but Harry is oblivious as he re-orders something on the tablet Niall hands him, and then hands it to Cowell, nodding.

“Okay” Cowell sighs, touching something on the screen. Zayn sees that each of them has a tablet, and takes his, seeing a document Cowell has just sent him and the rest of their team “This is the mission plan. It will take us a week to reach Cassandra. During this week, we’ll take turns in pairs to prepare lunch, keep the place neat and tidy, make sure our pilots are well-fed and hydrated and with their morals intact, and look out for potential dangers on our path. A space-walking is scheduled the day we reach Cassandra, before initiating atmosphere breaching procedure. Moreover, we will all make sure our scientists and engineers have all the help they might need. It’ll be like the academy all over again” he grins.

Louis and Liam, sitting at Zayn’s right, groan. Louis even bangs his head on the table for a more dramatic effect. “Why did you have to decide who does which task?” he complains reading over the lists on his own tablet.

Cowell grins some more. “Because I’m the captain and I love watching my subjects struggle”

“I’m pretty sure ‘subjects’ shouldn’t be the word to describe us” Niall comments.

“It certainly isn’t the word to describe _me_ ” Harry says with an arched eyebrow, his eyes fixed on the sheet in front of him. “I have asthma, so I cannot sweep the floors on days 3 and 6 with vice-Captain Winston. Too much dust, you see. I’ll exchange that with you, Captain Cowell, and I’ll clean the windows with Mr. Malik on those days”

Niall hides a grin in his sheets, and Zayn does the same. Everybody grins, really, except Winston, who tightens his jaw and makes a show of casually shrugging. “Shouldn’t even be able to _be_ in a spacecraft if you have asthma” he tells Harry.

Harry arches an eyebrow. “Then I’ll leave _you_ to build the future Eva 03 and we’ll see how that goes” he replies coldly.

Ben Winston grins a little. “Couldn’t be worse than the Eva 01” he retorts.

Niall instantly stands up, chair flying backwards. “Shut the fuck up” he grits out.

Zayn’s head is spinning for how fast the tones are changing. Niall is always more than polite with everyone, even Ben Winston, so the mere fact that he’s now swearing at him is something.

Zayn sees Niall’s same anger on Meredith’s, Mark’s and Grant’s faces. Cowell sits there motionless, like he doesn’t want to get involved, although his lips are thinly pressed together. Louis and Liam are frowning, probably as confused as Zayn, while Harry and Ben stare at each other, their clear eyes as cold as ice.

Zayn knows Harry’s stepfather has died in whatever happened to the Eva 01, so it’s just cruel of Ben to mention it now. Especially after everyone has seen just how fucking _scared_ Harry was of getting in the Eva 02 after that.

It’s pretty clear, that something _more_ has happened with the first spacecraft. Something that bothers Harry more than Zayn can understand.

Harry doesn’t say anything for a long while. Then he clears his throat and he turns off his tablet, slowly closing the cover with a soft smacking sound. “Is there anything else, Captain?” he asks. His eyes, the eyes Zayn has seen sparkle while they kissed or while Harry was looking at the sky, are cold and impenetrable now.

Cowell looks at Harry for a couple moments, and the sighs. “No, Mr. Styles. We’re done”

“Good” Harry says standing up “Then if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go to the bullpen and I’ll keep Liza company. Make sure we don’t end up like the Eva 01” he adds, turning and leaving without waiting for a reply.

Zayn desperately wants to follow him, but he stays where he is, because Cowell hasn’t dismissed the rest of them yet. “Vice-Captain” Cowell says coolly “Pull this kind of shit on Styles again, and I’ll send you back to the ground in an emergency shuttle. Am I clear?”

Winston gasps, affronted by what Cowell has just said, but then he seems to remember that he’s still not _above_ Cowell, and nods, standing up. “I apologize. I got carried away” he says “May I be excused?”

“Only if you excuse yourself as far away from our CEng as possible” Cowell smirks “He might be lanky, but I can assure you the kid’s got a good right blow”

Winston doesn’t answer, and storms away.

Cowell dismisses the rest of them after that, and Zayn has to fight himself with all he has not to run after Harry without touching the ground with his feet, like the artificial gravity was still not a thing.

Soon, he’s alone with Liam and Louis in the kitchen. “Well, that went well” Louis comments.

Liam snorts. “Can I say something?” he says after a moment, in a whisper.

“Do you wanna say that you hate Ben fucking Winston?” Louis whispers in a conspiratorial tone, his eyes exuding sarcasm.

Liam chuckles. “Yes!” he exclaims, still whispering.

“Can you stop whispering?” Zayn whispers himself “We’re alone”

“Oh okay, so we can say the rest out loud? That you’re fucking the CEng and you didn’t tell us?” Louis replies in a normal tone.

“Lou!” Zayn hisses, slapping his hand on Louis’s mouth and turning around to the door to make sure they’re alone. Luckily, they are.

Louis swats Zayn’s hand away, and laughs. “How the fuck do you even know?” Zayn asks, defeated.

Liam chuckles. “Zed, you and Harry have been pretty obvious, always looking at each other when the other isn’t looking and shit”

“Not to mention the giant hickey on your collarbone everybody saw when you wore your suit before the launch”

“Fuck” Zayn mutters, and lowers the collar of the suit to try and peek at his collarbone, failing. He can’t wait to go to his room and finally get the damn suit off him. He thanks God that the suit inside the spacecraft is only needed for launch and landing.

“We’re sharing a bedroom” Louis informs Zayn and Liam as they make their way out of the kitchen, reading from another list Cowell sent them. “The three of us, I mean. Room number 6 in the bedroom corridor. CEng Harry Edward Styles still gets his own room with his own bathroom, number 3, if it’s of any interest to you, Zayn Javadd Malik” Louis adds with a fake casual tone.

Liam giggles, and Zayn punches him in the arm. “Are you done fucking with me?” he complains, not being able to help a grin of his own. It’s kinda hard to resist to Liam’s laugh.

“Are you done fucking the CEng?” Louis retorts.

Zayn groans and rolls his eyes, opening door number 6 and deeming it best not to answer. Liam and Louis get the suits off of them and slide straight into their beds.

Zayn knows that it’s probably just a bit after six, but time flows differently in space, and they need all the rest they can get before they get closer to Cassandra and have to start space-walking.

The absence of noises outside of their rooms tells him the rest of their team had the same idea.

Zayn shrugs the heavy suit off, picking it up and hanging it beside Louis’s and Liam’s. “I’m gonna shower” he announces, feeling the uncomfortable stickiness of his t-shirt and space-pants he’s worn for hours under the suit.

Louis arches an eyebrow from his bed. “Right” he sighs “What a blessing then, that the CEng has his own shower, yeah?”

Zayn picks a clean t-shirt and a pair of sweats from his suitcase and rolls his eyes, going for the door. “We’re on a first name basis” he grins before leaving “I don’t call him CEng, he’s just Harry”

Liam laughs hard as Zayn leaves the room, and Louis throws a pillow at the door after Zayn closes it.

 

*

 

 _Couldn’t be worse than the Eva 01_.

Ben Winston’s words have echoed in Harry’s head since they’ve left his mouth.

The room he’s in right now wasn’t a necessary room in the spacecraft, but Harry has managed to sneak it into the project with the help of Ingrid Salzberg, the German architect of the Evangelion, so there you have it.

It’s not an observatory, because they really don’t need the monitors and the telescopes in space. But the window is even bigger than in the bullpen of the spacecraft, a whole wall of plexiglass just for Harry to stare into the unknown he’s studied his whole life.

He’s sitting on the floor, in a corner, and if he keeps staring ahead, he can imagine he’s just sitting on nothing, fluctuating among the stars and galaxies, just an insignificant black dot in a sea of dark and light.

Cassandra is still not in sight from where they are now. But she’s gonna be there soon, her trees and fields of purple will be real and tangible under their hands and feet.

 _Robin would lose his shit_ , Harry keeps thinking, to fight the sense of impending failure Ben Winston has been able to amplify in his stomach.

A light click tells him the door is opening and then closing again, and then there’s a _thud thud thud_ of bare feet reaching him.

Harry doesn’t need to turn to know it’s Zayn. They’ve spent such a short time together, they barely know each other, and yet Harry has the cadence of Zayn’s steps already memorized. He already knows the feeling of Zayn’s hands running up his thighs, the warmth of Zayn’s tongue under his ear, the sound of Zayn’s whispers after the lights turn off completely.

“Haz?” Zayn whispers right then, and it’s dark, and Harry knows it’s him.

He turns to smile a little at him. Zayn always smiles, Harry might as well try to do the same. Even if he feels a bit far from it.

Zayn sighs. “Haz” he says again, whispering even lower, and sitting on the floor next to him. He’s holding a dark blue towel and a toiletry bag, but he lets go of them when he sits.

Harry turns his head again, to stare at the stars. He doesn’t know how to look at anyone’s face, not even Zayn’s, who doesn’t even _know_ what happened.

“Do you… do you wanna talk about it?” Zayn asks, tentatively.

Harry’s already shaking his head before Zayn even finishes the question. He sniffles, eyes carefully averted from Zayn, and keeps lightly shaking his head. “There’s no point” he says at last.

Zayn sighs. “If you need to talk about it, then there’s a point”

Harry chuckles, and it sounds bitter and wrong even to his own ears. “You’ll never want to… do whatever it is we do again”

Zayn scoots closer to Harry, and Harry’s heart does a little bit of something funny when their legs touch. Zayn is warm even through the layers of the sweatpants they’re both wearing, and Harry’s reminded of how warm he felt the night before, when they were naked.

Zayn’s hand rests on Harry’s knee, and Harry looks at it for a moment before finally facing Zayn. He’s smiling. “I highly doubt so” he says gently, and Harry’s heart breaks a little “As I said yesterday, Harry Edward Styles” he adds, his face inching closer to Harry’s “I see whole constellations when I look at you. And whatever it is that bothers you and makes you sad, it doesn’t make your stars shine any less bright”

Harry chuckles a bit more sincerely now, at the absurdly sappy line, and at the grin threatening to surface on Zayn’s face. “Are you implying that fucking me is a bit like space-walking?”

Zayn laughs and nods. “Well. The feeling of bliss might as well be the same” he replies.

Harry laughs too, and closes the small distance between their mouths, kissing Zayn first. Zayn goes willingly, sighing loudly against Harry’s mouth like he wasn’t waiting for anything else. Harry’s dizzy with it, with the feeling of really _wanting_ someone he hasn’t felt for so long, with the way Zayn kisses him even if he’s probably starting to understand Harry’s got something to do with what happened the year before. With the wild hope that maybe Zayn won’t care even when someone will inevitably tell him.

Zayn opens his mouth, and Harry lets his tongue slide against his. His hands cup Zayn’s face on their own accord, and a moment later Harry’s climbing to sit in Zayn’s lap, and Zayn’s back is against the plexiglass of the window—or wall.

Zayn circles Harry’s waist with his hands, his thumbs pressing into his hips while their kiss turns more heated and their pants louder. “Let’s go to yours” Zayn murmurs, taking a shaky breath.

Harry shakes his head. “I wanna stay here” he pants, already writhing a little in Zayn’s lap, both their cocks starting to fill up.

Zayn gulps and nods. “Okay. Okay. Whatever you want, babe. Whatever you need”

Harry nods too, and attacks Zayn’s lips again while their hands fumble for each other’s t-shirt, tugging at them until they’re removed and chucked somewhere away from them. Harry sees Zayn stare at his chest for a couple seconds, like he’s done the night before, his eyes raking over Harry’s tattoos and whatever else it is that Zayn likes about Harry’s body. Harry knows he’s got some things that might be considered abs now, but still, he can’t imagine Zayn being transfixed by Harry’s body when Zayn himself looks like… well, like _Zayn_.

His honeyed skin is covered in tattoos, so much more than Harry’s, and they run like paths and rivers over his arms, chest, shoulders, hands. Harry slides his fingers up and down those lines of ink, revelling in the way Zayn shivers under the touch of his fingertips.

“What if someone catches us” Harry says at last, facing the issue at hand, when he realizes Zayn’s really taking him up on his word, and working on getting Harry’s sweatpants off as well.

Zayn chuckles. “What did they tell you about me at NASA?”

Harry rolls his eyes. “That you always score perfectly at everything you attempt, but you’re a bit reckless”

Zayn grins, and then bends to lick a stripe up Harry’s neck. Harry shivers at the contact and feels his eyelids flutter. Zayn’s tongue keeps working at his neck, and Harry drives his fingers through Zayn’s hair, undoing the tight topknot and letting it fall free and silky over his shoulders.

Taking off the rest of their clothes is not a sexy ordeal, considering that they both get stuck in them, Harry almost topples over in his haste, and Zayn almost knees him in the teeth.

They manage, though, and Harry is about to manifest his concern for the fact that he doubts there’s any lube stored in the room, empty and small, just made to stare out at the sky.

Zayn kisses him and doesn’t let him speak, but he also grins and grabs his toiletry bag, rummaging through shampoos and shower gels until he produces a half-empty travel bottle of lube.

Harry arches an eyebrow, and Zayn laughs. “I didn’t even know it was still here, I noticed earlier when I showered” he explains.

“Blackberry scent” Harry reads on the bottle “What do blackberries even smell like?”

Zayn chuckles and takes the bottle from Harry’s hand. “Like us fucking” he declares, uncapping it.

Harry snorts a laugh, but he lets Zayn do what he wants with the lube, watches him pour it on his fingers. “I wanna stay like this” Harry finds himself demanding “I wanna ride you”

Zayn nods, a bit frantically and with his breath a bit ragged again, and then lowers his clean hand until it’s between Harry’s legs, wrapping around his dick, and starting to slowly tug. Zayn’s other hand, the lubed one, also goes between his legs. Harry shivers when he feels Zayn’s finger circle his rim, and then slide inside in a single, smooth motion.

Harry groans and gasps, his fingers flexing when they bury themselves in Zayn’s shoulders while he’s still straddling him. “We don’t have a condom” he says, his brain going a mile a minute “But I think we both got tested for anything and everything before being allowed to join the mission. So I’m clean and you’re clean. If you want”

Zayn’s already nodding when Harry’s only mid-sentence. “Yeah, yeah, okay, Haz, I want to, I want to, so fucking much” he says quickly and breathlessly, and Harry takes it as a victory and a reason of pride. That he’s making someone like Zayn Javadd Malik go a little crazy with want.

Harry takes a hold of the lube and squirts a generous amount of it in his hand. Blackberries don’t smell like anything, he confirms sniffing discreetly, just out of curiosity. Zayn must notice, because he giggles a little, and it’s a bit weird that he does while his fingers – now three – are still sliding in and out of Harry’s hole. It’s also hot, Harry thinks.

Zayn stops laughing the second Harry starts wanking him with the lube in his hand. Harry flexes his wrist and curls his fingers around the base and the tip of Zayn’s dick, and Zayn gasps, throwing his head backwards at the sudden contact. Harry quickly puts a hand behind Zayn’s nape, afraid he’s going to bang his head into the plexiglass wall.

Zayn doesn’t, and he doesn’t halt the movement of his fingers stretching Harry. He does notice Harry’s instinctive attempt at protecting him, though, because he smiles and surges forward to kiss Harry, taking his fingers out of him. “Can I fuck you, babe? Are you ready?” he asks, quietly but frantically at the same time.

Harry nods furiously. “Yeah. Yes, Zayn, please, please” he says, and holds himself a bit upright using the hands he has on Zayn’s shoulders. Zayn nods too, and lines himself up with Harry, nodding again when Harry starts to sink down.

Harry has never had sex without a condom. The feeling’s amazing, the warmth is so much better, the glide is smoother and it feels like fucking heaven. He suspects that a fair share of it depends just on Zayn, and not on the absence of a condom, though.

When Harry’s fully seated on Zayn, they both exhale a breath.

When Harry starts to move, Zayn murmurs that he’s never felt anything as good as this.

When Zayn makes Harry come untouched, Harry cries out that he’s never felt anything as good as this, either.

When Harry makes Zayn come, Zayn closes his eyes and throws his head backwards again, and Harry stares at him, at the long line of his neck and his long eyelashes and perfect cheekbones, against a dark universe full of galaxies Harry can now see with his naked eye.

Harry is not an astronaut, but he has to believe Zayn.

It feels like space-walking.

 

*

 

The next five days go by like that, almost uneventful.

Liza and Grant pilot the Eva.

Meredith and Mark make plans for the tests they’re gonna run on Cassandra’s environment when they reach it.

Louis, Liam and Zayn train for the upcoming space-walks.

Niall and Harry fix a couple of accidents that happen in the spacecraft. The start of an oxygen failure, a minor cable short-circuiting, a button not working on the pilot console. Normal accidents that always happen, Harry keeps telling himself when he feels his own oxygen lacking, at the thought something worse might happen.

Something he can’t fix. Something that is _his_ fault.

Nothing happens.

Harry and Zayn fuck and talk, talk and fuck.

It feels like ten years since they met. Now, when Harry looks at Zayn, he doesn’t think that they basically don’t know each other. He thinks that they’ve managed to know _everything_ about each other in an absurdly short time.

Harry knows what Zayn felt when he went through his first bad breakup. Zayn knows Harry has had a lot of sex before, but no real relationship. Harry chuckles when he thinks Zayn is afraid of open waters, but not of launching himself into the void. Zayn giggles thinking Harry is scared of grasshoppers, but not of wasps.

Harry knows all about how and when Zayn became friends with Liam and Louis, and Zayn has many unabridged details about Harry and Niall’s friendship.

Sometimes, late at night when Zayn is asleep and Harry isn’t, Harry wonders if they’re really together.

He wonders if things will be different when they’ll go back to the ground, not Cassie’s, but Earth. Real life. Harry feels more _real_ with Zayn, flying towards the unknown, than when he’s on Earth thinking about people who died because of him.

Harry’s real life starts and ends with space. The ground is a place for regrets and tears. And _this_ is the only thing Zayn doesn’t know about him.

Two days before the scheduled landing on Cassandra, that’s exactly what Harry’s thinking about, while Zayn sleeps soundly next to him, both of them crammed in the small bed in Harry’s room. Not that they mind.

They have a space-walk scheduled for the next day. Zayn will have to do it. Liam and Louis have a fever, and it’s not that bad, just a little cold they got after showering and not drying properly before walking around the Eva. But astronauts in not perfect physical conditions cannot go out into real space, and that’s the law.

So Zayn will have to do it alone. Harry will be right there inside the spacecraft, watching him and making sure everything goes perfectly. Somehow, it doesn’t feel like it’s enough.

There’s a loud crash, and Zayn jolts awake, sitting up and looking around with sleep still clogging his eyes. Harry must be a bit stupid, because something’s wrong with the Eva, and he’s just there admiring Zayn’s eyelashes instead of freaking out.

Maybe the fact that Zayn calms him isn’t that great, sometimes.

There’s a heavy knock on the door, and a second later Niall bursts inside the room. He arches an eyebrow at Harry and Zayn, both sitting on the bed and evidently naked under the sheets, but then looks at Harry with a serious gaze.

“Detritus from Achilles, the asteroid formation. A big asteroid hit the flank of the spacecraft. No major damages, but the panel protecting space-mode is damaged and needs to be repaired immediately”

Harry is already out of bed and dressed at the mere mention of something involving space-mode. His heart is jumping out of his chest as Zayn also gets dressed as quickly as he can, and the three of them run towards the bullpen, where the bright orange light signaling a solvable anomaly is flashing on the monitors.

Everybody’s already there, Louis and Liam with red noses and blankets wrapped around their shoulders.

Harry doesn’t say anything, just goes for the monitors in front of Grant and Liza, both piloting now for the emergency situation. A quick scan of the flank of the spacecraft tells him that yes, the space-mode cover panel needs to be fixed as soon as possible. If even a small particle hits the uncovered buttons, it could turn the space-mode off. And they would all die.

“Mr. Malik, prepare for space-walking” Cowell says abruptly.

Zayn nods and goes through the corridor leading to the expulsion chamber with Niall and Winston.

“No!” Harry exclaims “He can’t do this alone, and Liam and Louis are not well enough!”

“We can go” Louis says, and a coughing fit interrupts him.

Cowell shakes his head. “No, you can’t. You’re not well enough. Mr. Malik will have to do this alone”

Harry growls his frustration and then stomps to the expulsion chamber, not caring if the rest of them follow him. When he gets there, Zayn is already wearing the whole space suit, save for the helmet. The cable which will anchor Zayn to the spacecraft when he’ll be outside is secured to his belt, and Winston and Niall are holding the rest of it with firm but delicate hands.

“Don’t freak out, CEng Harry Edward Styles” Zayn grins and winks “You made all of this. I was trained to work on it”

Harry sighs. “Do you even _know_ how to substitute a spacecraft panel?”

“Nope” Zayn grins and winks again, stuffing his head in the helmet “But I have a camera and a transmitter. You’ll see through my eyes and you’ll guide me, my liege”

Harry rolls his eyes, his heart still hammering so fast he’s afraid everybody will hear it. “Be careful. This is not a normal space-walk. There’s still detritus from Achilles floating around. Watch out for that”

Zayn grins for the umpteenth time and gives Harry the military salute. Harry would like to snog him just for being so cheerful where Harry is always worried and edgy.

Niall and Winston shepherd everybody out of the chamber and into the entrance, where Niall pushes a button and a glass door closes, separating Zayn from the rest of them. Zayn secures his helmet and then shows them a thumbs up.

Harry nods and pulls the _Open_ lever. The door of the expulsion chamber slides open, revealing the open space in front of them.

Zayn walks out of the Eva 02, and Harry watches him fly and turn around towards the back of the vehicle, where the destroyed panel is.

Red alarms start blaring.

 _SUIT OXYGEN FAIL_ shows up on the screen monitoring Zayn’s status.

Harry’s stomach jumps painfully inside his abdomen as he sees other words behind his eyelids, the memory of the words that ruined his life. _ANOMALY FOUND_.

“Haz?” Zayn says in the intercom “There’s something wrong”

 _Harry? Harry, there’s something wrong_ , Robin’s voice says in Harry’s head.

“I think my anchor cable is damaged” Zayn says in an awfully calm tone.

 _Harry? The spacecraft isn’t responding_ , Adam’s phantom voice crushes Harry’s eardrums.

“Zayn checked it and vice-Captain Winston checked it again!” Niall exclaims “ _How_ can it be damaged?”

“I don’t know, but it is” Zayn replies, coughing “It is damaged. I’m having an oxygen failure, Harry”

The way Zayn talks to Harry like Harry can solve it, like Harry can _do_ something, makes cold sweat run down Harry’s spine. _It’s your responsibility_ , Robin says in his head.

Harry shakes his head. “Abort” Harry declares “Mr. Malik, come back inside”

“Roger that” Zayn replies, and Harry sees him turn around both in the screens and in front of him through the glass.

Harry nods and pushes up the lever to rewind the fucking cable.

There’s a tug that makes Zayn rattle.

“Cable’s too damaged. Not rewinding” Zayn communicates. His tone isn’t calm anymore. Harry can hear how nervous he’s getting. Harry’s hands shake.

“Fuck” Harry hisses, looking around, _thinking thinking thinking_.

Zayn sighs. “Oh well. ‘S been a pleasure, y’all” he says, chuckling.

“Shut up” Harry growls “Let me _think_ ”

There’s no one to do the retrieving protocol. Cowell and Winston are spacecraft Captains, but they’re not astronauts. The only ones who could do it are Louis and Liam, but it’s too risky sending them out. They’re sick, and any anomaly could cut their breathing off. They could have an aneurysm, even.

“Let us go!” Liam shouts, already tugging at his space suit, hung right next to where Zayn took his own.

“Prepare us for retrieving!” Louis screams, doing the same.

“No” Winston says sternly “It’s too risky. We’ll end up losing you two as well”

“Are you just gonna _leave him there_?” Harry yells, shoving at him in the shoulder.

Winston glares at him. “Behave, Mr. Styles, or I swear to God I’ll have your fucking license”

“Have at it” Harry says, taking his badge off his neck, and throwing it against Winston’s chest “Prepare _me_ for retrieving protocol” he adds, balling his hands into fists to stop them from shaking.

“Are you mad?” Niall screams “Haz, you…”

“I trained” Harry interrupts him coldly “I have trained more than necessary, even. I know how retrieving works. I can do it”

“No”

It’s Zayn who speaks. His breath is ragged, his oxygen quickly running out.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, sorry I've disappeared. I've never been this slow in updating, but it's been a very tiring couple of weeks, and I've been travelling a lot. But back I am!  
> Let me know what you're thinking :)  
> I am also on Tumblr as wont-you-stay-till-the-am.tumblr.com, come hit me up if you wanna talk.


	4. Tell me a story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry smiles at Liam, trying to school his features into normalcy. “Liam? Where… where’s Zayn?”  
> Liam pats Harry on the shoulder. “Main room, we have to buckle up for landing very shortly. Zayn cares about you, Harry, you know that, right? You might want to show him that you care about him too”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual disclaimer: I don't know or own any of the characters present in this work. I only own the plot and the original characters.

 

 

“No,” Zayn says, and it feels like it takes all the little oxygen he has left.

Harry’s stubborn voice reaches him through the transmitter. “What?” Harry hisses and then grunts. Zayn cannot see him shake his head and make his curls bounce, but it’s like he sees him anyway. “We don’t have time. Prepare me for retrieving” Harry says.

Zayn opens his mouth to protest again, and his lungs screech. _Is this how I’m gonna die?_ , he wonders, and he’s a bit surprised that he’s not that scared. Maybe it’s just the training, the attempts at preserving the oxygen inexorably flowing away through the damage in his cable. Or maybe it’s the fact that he’s too busy worrying for Harry and being a bit amazed that someone with almost no training would risk their life for _him_. For Zayn Javadd Malik.

Zayn can’t hear all that is happening in the spacecraft. He can see it, the elegant, red shape of it, the engraving EVA 02 shining with the reflected light of the galaxies blinking around him in the darkness of the universe. The purple of Cassandra in front of them, now perfectly visible even at the human eye.

_There are worse ways to die, aren’t there_ , he thinks, and laughs a little at himself for how he’s feeling like in Armageddon. The laugh is not the best of calls, because his breath is cut even more, and he gasps a breath, which leads to another, and another.

“Calm down!” he hears Harry scream at him through the receiver “Zayn, you need to stop gasping or you’ll consume the oxygen quicker!”

“Why didn’t I think about that?” Zayn replies through his teeth, deciding that if he’s gonna die, he’s gonna do it showering everyone in sarcasm.

Harry emits another grunt, and Zayn rolls his eyes at himself for how that sound reminds him of Harry in their bed. _Their bed?_ It’s not _their_ bed. Zayn doesn’t even know what they are.

The uncertainty of what Harry Edward Styles is for him, and he for Harry, hits Zayn harder than it ever has. _I can’t die. I need to know first. I can’t die now. I don’t wanna die_.

Rustles and screams in the transmitter. Zayn’s head is spinning. It’s nice floating among the stars though, isn’t it? Maybe Zayn can make it his permanent residence. Why does humanity even need a new planet when floating in open space is so nice? Humans are stupid.

Zayn is sleepy. He hasn’t slept much in the last days, hasn’t he? With all the fucking and the stargazing. Maybe he can sleep now. Harry’s coming to pick him up. He can pick Zayn up while he’s asleep.

“ZED!” a scream startles him. Zayn blinks.

Why does Louis always shout? _It’s like his vocal cords are set to a frequency unknown to human kind_ , Zayn’s father always says. _Baba_ , Zayn thinks. _You didn’t even want me to become an astronaut. You’re gonna be so pissed when I’m dead._

“ZED! WAKE THE FUCK UP!” Louis screams.

Zayn hums. “’M here” he says. Slurs. He’s never been the best at enunciating. Now he’s a bit worse.

“THEN STAY HERE!” Louis keeps screaming.

Zayn hums again. “’top screamin’” he begs Louis.

Louis does, but his screams have made Zayn get some lucidity back. He knows what’s happening. Oxygen failure. Losing consciousness. Falling asleep and not waking up.

It’s Liam who speaks next. “Hey, Zed?” he says, clearing his throat and reminding Zayn that he’s still sick.

Zayn hums.

“I’m not feeling great right now. Tell me a story?”

Zayn knows what Liam’s doing. Trying to keep Zayn awake. But Zayn also knows that it’s engraved in his nervous system, to tell stories to Liam when Liam’s not okay.

There has been a time when Liam suffered of really bad panic attacks. They were so heavy and frequent that Liam (and Louis and Zayn, too) was worried he’d never make it to space. That no one would ever allow him to go.

So, one night, Zayn had sat by Liam’s bedside while Liam shook and gasped for air, and had done what he always did with his little sisters when they cried. He’d told him a story. And, incredibly, Liam’s panic attack had receded.

Liam’s better now, but sometimes it still happens. Zayn is still there to tell him stories.

Zayn knows Liam isn’t having a panic attack now, but Zayn might as well be having one, for how little oxygen he has left.

“Don’t make him speak, the oxygen will wear out in a minute” Zayn hears Cowell’s voice.

“He’s getting too agitated” Louis replies “Liam’s right, we have to make him calm down”

“Make him speak” Harry says then “I’m almost ready for retrieving anyway”

_This is so fucking dangerous, babe, you aren’t trained for this, not really_ , Zayn thinks with an uneven thrum of his heart. His breath feels wrong in his lungs. Does he still have lungs? Are they melting?

“Zed?” Liam says in the transmitter “I really need you to tell me a story”

Zayn nods. They can’t see him, though. “Okay” he says “Once upon a time, there was a CEng called Harry Edward Styles”

“Oi oi, this is gonna be good” Zayn hears Louis comment, followed by a cough.

He chuckles. _Yay. I’m dying and the only story I can tell is about the guy I’m fucking. Am I really just fucking him? I think I like him. He doesn’t like me, though. He never speaks to me. Not about anything important._

“CEng Harry Edward Styles was a very intelligent person” Zayn continues “But he was also very reserved. No one knew anything about him. He had secrets”

“I’m ready” Harry says, and is Zayn imagining the strain in his voice? Is he not okay either? Are they all dying? Zayn’s eyelids are very heavy. How can something so small like an eyelid be so heavy?

“Zed!” Liam exclaims “Stay with me. I wanna hear the story”

Oh, right. The story. “CEng Harry Edward Styles never talked about things. Or better, he talked a lot” Zayn chuckles “He could spend two hours telling you about how that one wall in the Evangelion was built. But if you asked him about his life, it could take him a week just to tell you his stepfather’s name”

“Launch me” Harry says. His voice sounds so cold. And shaky.

The reality hits Zayn almost like something physical. _No no no he’s really coming out to get me he has no training he’s gonna die and it’s gonna be my fault for not checking the fucking cable._

“No” Zayn grits out, his lungs protesting when he tries to scream “Harry, no no no, please, you don’t know how to do this, it’s too dangerous”

“Shut up. Spare the oxygen” Harry replies, and Zayn does, because it hurts to breathe.

Liam doesn’t ask for the rest of the story. Zayn looks at the Eva 02 in front of him, and sees the port lift, uncovering a figure dressed in a white spacesuit like Zayn’s. It’s Louis’s spacesuit, Zayn recognizes it from the blue lines on the sides. Zayn’s lines are red. Liam’s are green. Louis’s are blue.

It’s not Louis inside the suit, though. Zayn manages to keep his eyes open enough to confirm that it’s Harry, his hair in a bun and his head covered by the helmet.

Then Harry takes a step forward, and starts his first, non-trained space-walk.

 

*

 

Harry shouldn’t think about what Zayn has said. He’s on oxygen failure, almost unconscious, and risking his life.

And yet, Harry’s heart has constricted a little bit when Zayn’s clouded mind has made him express his frustration about Harry not talking.

Because, of course, it’s true.

Harry would never initiate a conversation about his past or his family (which is the same thing, since Harry has known nothing but his family and the destruction of it at his hands), but even when Zayn has tried—very carefully, very slowly—to ask stuff, he’s never answered.

_Someone told me you haven’t visited your mum in a year, babe. Why’s that?_ , Zayn has asked, and Harry has shrugged and kissed Zayn to make him forget the question. Apparently, Zayn hasn’t.

_Ain’t you gonna call your mum? You can, even from the spacecraft_ , Zayn has commented, and Harry has murmured nonsense about being too busy.

_How exactly did your stepfather die, babe?_ , Zayn has even asked in a bolder than usual attempt, and Harry has just sunk to his knees and let Zayn fuck his mouth to avoid answering. Zayn hasn’t asked again after that, but apparently, he hasn’t forgotten that either.

Harry sees Zayn get closer and closer as he proceeds forward, moving his feet like he’s swimming, like Zayn has taught him on the ground. It’s hard, and Harry’s calves are already burning for the effort.

It takes longer and more strength than he’d thought, to really reach Zayn.

Zayn’s face is almost blue, and it’s not only because he’s probably fucking angry at Harry. Harry ignores Zayn’s look, and quickly pulls out the extra oxygen tube Niall has installed on Louis’s suit. The tube slips from Harry’s gloved hands twice before he gets a firmer grip on it and plugs it on the side of Zayn’s suit, where the extra oxygen plug is.

_We’ve only made a mistake. Astronauts should never space-walk alone. But I can fix it, I can fix it, I can fix it_ , Harry thinks to himself.

Zayn takes a deep, gasping breath once the oxygen tube is in place. They’re gonna be tied and share Harry’s oxygen, which gives them half the normal amount of time to finish what Zayn has started.

“Do you hear me?” Harry asks, staring at Zayn through the glass on their helmets.

“Do you care?” Zayn retorts.

_He’s fine, he’s angry but he’s fine_ , Harry tells himself.

He forces himself to emit one of his frustrated grunts, even if all he wants is to curl up in bed next to Zayn and tell him everything that happened, everything he did. “We gotta fix space-mode” he tells Zayn “And you’re tied to me, so you gotta lead the way because you move quicker, and we don’t have time”

Zayn opens his mouth to reply, but then he seems to think better of it, and just nods, grabbing Harry’s arm right in the middle of his bicep. Zayn then gives Harry his back, and starts walking towards the side of the spacecraft, pulling Harry with him.

“Zayn?” Harry tries.

“Shut up. Spare the oxygen” Zayn replies coldly, repeating what Harry has told him ten minutes earlier.

Harry closes his mouth, and lets Zayn pull him, only being able to help by keeping moving his feet in the way Zayn taught him.

Soon enough, they reach the space-mode panel. It’s completely broken, crumpled like a piece of paper, not even a small sign that the Eva is built out of the most resistant materials.

Harry nods to himself, and takes out some tools from the belt Niall has secured around his waist. There’s everything to remove the crumpled panel, a new panel, and the tools to put it in place.

Harry desperately wishes he could have worn his headphones under the helmet. He’s always been like this. He needs music or _something_ to concentrate properly when he’s doing the _actual_ building.

“Zayn?” he asks, because he’s nothing if not a masochist “Finish your story? I need something to concentrate”

“Oh, fucking hell, those two” he hears Meredith mutter in the transmitter.

Harry doesn’t look at Zayn, because he’s already working on the panel. “CEng Harry Edward Styles doesn’t fucking care about people who worry about him. He thinks he’s perfectly fine like this, by himself and mourning something I don’t know _shit_ about, but he isn’t, and sooner or later all the self-imposed solitude is gonna bite him in the arse. End of story” Zayn says angrily.

Harry sighs. “Can we… can we talk about this later?”

“I don’t know, Harry, can we?” Zayn snaps.

Harry almost recoils from him, and doesn’t answer. Niall, lovely Niall who knows Harry like the back of his hand, saves him by putting on some music through the transmitter. It’s Mozart.

“Cheers, Ni” Harry says, trying not to sound like a kicked puppy.

“Anytime, Hazza” Niall replies “If you don’t manage to concentrate and fix space-mode, then this will all be for nothing, considering that Zayn is still a waste of oxygen even now that he’s breathing properly” he then adds, coldly.

Harry wants to cry. Now even Niall is angry, because Niall is loyal to Harry to the point of being stupid. Nobody replies to that, and Harry furiously bats his eyelashes to get rid of the tears forming in his eyes. _Focus, Harry. It’s your right and your responsibility_ , his brain says in Robin’s voice.

“Yeah, Rob. I know, I know, I know” Harry murmurs, and finally uncorks the damaged panel, detaching it from its hinges.

He hands the panel to Zayn, who takes it without uttering a sound. Harry doesn’t look at him, too worried about what he’ll find in his eyes.

Harry keeps his eyes on the space-mode settings, heaving a relieved sigh when he sees the asteroid has fucked up the protective panel but hasn’t touched anything under it. All the lights flash green, like they’re happy to see their human.

_Perfect_ , Harry thinks, _Now I’m treating space-mode like it’s a puppy. I’m really losing my mind, ain’t I?_

Harry sighs again, and extracts the new protective panel together with the tools to hinge it. Zayn is still silent next to him, but Harry feels his presence like Zayn is touching him on every part of his body at once, and not just on his bicep, where he hasn’t let him go for even a second. His grip is even a bit painful, if he’s honest, but Harry doesn’t complain. Who knows if Zayn will ever want to touch him again after this.

_Space-fighting. What a delight_ , he thinks to himself.

Hinging the new panel doesn’t take long. Harry manages to put it in place before the nine minutes of Mozart’s _Sonata in C Major_ are even over, and when he’s done he finally turns to look at Zayn.

Zayn is staring at him with an expression Harry can’t decipher, a bit amazed, a bit sad, a bit worried. “Are you done?” Zayn only asks at last.

Harry nods, not daring answer properly for fear his voice will fail him.

Zayn nods too. “Returning to spacecraft” he says to no one and everyone, and then steers Harry towards the port of the spacecraft until they reach it.

As soon as their feet touch the floor of the expulsion chamber, the port slams closed behind them, and once it does, people flood the chamber.

Niall helps Harry remove the helmet and unzip the suit, while Liam and Louis do the same with Zayn. Cowell, Winston, Meredith and Mark are also there. Grant and Liza are probably still piloting together.

_I made it, I fixed it_ , Harry thinks while he steps out of the suit, sweat coating his whole body. Those things are heavy, for Christ’s sake.

Harry takes a deep breath. “Zayn?” he tries.

Zayn turns to look at him. “No. I don’t wanna talk right now”

Harry feels his lower lip tremble and bites on it. “Zayn, please, I…”

“You’re _stupid_!” Zayn exclaims, hitting Harry on the chest just once. It’s not even a strong blow, but Harry recoils from the angry look in Zayn’s eyes like Zayn has just stabbed him.

Liam and Louis grab Zayn by the arms instantly, while Cowell clears his throat and mutters something that sounds like “Behave”, like they’re kids in kindergarten and not a team of qualified scientists and astronauts.

Zayn doesn’t care. “You’re so stupid, you could have _died_!” he screams “This is not your job, Harry! It’s _mine_! I get that you built all of this and you feel a responsibility towards it, but you could have only made things _worse_!”

“What was I supposed to do? Leave you to _die_?” Harry screams back, now extremely pissed himself.

“You should have let _someone else_ come!”

“Who? Louis and Liam are sick! Cowell and Winston are marines, not astronauts! Nobody else _could_!”

Zayn grunts in frustration, not dissimilarly to what Harry always does. “Then you should have left me there”

Louis rolls his eyes. “Don’t be daft, none of us ever would have”

“Then you’re shit at your job” Zayn replies curtly “This person here” he points at Harry “Is more important for this mission than me. Prioritize, Tomlinson”

Harry has never given much thought before to the fact that Zayn, Louis and Liam are a team of their own, with grades, because they never look like it. In this moment, however, he’s reminded that they indeed are, and that Zayn is the head astronaut of the team.

Louis doesn’t seem deterred. “Stop being so dramatic, Zayn”

“Next time, you do as I say. I say leave me there? You do. I say don’t let a fucking _civilian_ out in the open fucking space? You follow my orders. Are we clear?” Zayn says, even more coldly than before.

Louis scans Zayn’s eyes for a long moment, and then sighs. “Yeah. We’re clear” he says at last.

“Good” Zayn says, and then gets out of the expulsion chamber without sparing Harry a single glance.

Liam coughs, covering his mouth with a hand, and then pats Harry’s back. “He’ll come to his senses” he assures.

Harry sighs. “Get back to bed, yeah?” he replies “You’re still sick and we need you and Louis at your best”

Louis rolls his eyes. “You and Zayn should fight for a prize for Best Drama Queen. Might still be a better fight than this one” he comments.

Cowell steps forward. “Is the _telenovela_ over now?” he asks seriously “We have less than four hours before landing on Cassandra and we still have much to plan”

Harry nods. “Yes. I’ll get to it. I’m sorry”

The last person he wants to see or talk to is Ben Winston, but Ben himself seems to think differently, because he steps forward too and gently grabs Harry’s arm. “I don’t think you have to apologise. What you did was brave, even if Mr. Malik doesn’t seem to understand it”

“Brave and stupid” Cowell confirms “Mr. Malik is more right than you reckon”

Harry can’t deal with this. He shrugs his arm away from Ben’s hand, and doesn’t care about the way Ben’s face gets angry and then falls. Louis, Liam and Niall are staring at Harry with a frown.

“I’m gonna take a shower” Harry announces “Niall, can you explain to the astronauts how things are gonna work for landing? We don’t have time”

Niall sighs. “Okay, Haz. I’m on it”

“If you can’t find Mr. Malik, look in the observatory” Harry only adds, and then flees the scene.

 

*

 

Harry takes the longest shower he manages, and then peeks beyond the corner of the corridor to check if everyone is in the bullpen. A quick glance tells him Zayn is there, listening to Niall explaining the plan for landing, so he tells himself everything’s being taken care of and it’s safe for him to go in the observatory for a little while, just to clear his head.

Cassie is big and purple beyond the plexiglass wall of the observatory room. Despite it all, Harry smiles and sits right in front of it, staring at the best thing about to happen to human kind.

_I’m gonna make sure humanity doesn’t destroy you like they did with Earth, Cassie_ , he says in his mind. Cassie, of course, doesn’t reply, but Harry likes to thing that the way her purple vegetation shines from such a close distance means she understands Harry’s thoughts.

He doesn’t know how long he stays there, staring at Cassie, but at some point the door clicks open, and Harry turns abruptly, half-afraid and half-hopeful that it’s Zayn.

It’s Grant.

Grant smiles his crooked smile, his mop of blonde hair held back by a headband, and slowly takes some steps towards Harry. “Mind if I stare at the baby with you for a while? Liza’s just told me to fuck off until landing. I think she was just one bad pun away from committing murder. Of me, specifically”

Harry chuckles. “Come here. You know there’s no bad pun I cannot appreciate”

“One of the many things I like about CEng Harry Styles” Grant sighs, plopping down next to Harry and crossing his legs. His eyes are a very light blue, and they perfectly reflect the purple of Cassandra now.

Harry has known Grant for a long while. Grant has been one of the first people to be hired to work in the Evangelion when it was first built. He had begun his training as an astronaut, but never completed it because of a very small heart defect. _Only perfect health allowed_ , Robin had said with a sad sigh. Robin liked Grant very much, and it had been extremely hard for him to have to put a stop to Grant’s training.

After being rejected, Grant had abandoned the Evangelion, only to return as a pilot some months earlier, after Harry had decided—had he really _decided_?—to go back to the Evangelion himself.

Harry had been happy to see a familiar, friendly face when forcing himself to show his face around after what had happened to the first Eva, and the people inside it.

Grant had smiled his crooked smile. _Yo, Styles. I might not have perfect health, but I found a way to cheat the system_ , he’d announced candidly upon showing all the documentation that made him the perfect choice as a pilot for the Eva.

“Haz?” Grant says now, a bit warily.

Harry hums. “Sorry. Did you say something?”

Grant chuckles. “I asked you what the fuck was all that, back in the expulsion chamber with Malik”

Harry sighs. “I dunno, Grant. It’s like, I took the only decision I could take, and Zayn got mad about it”

“Are you sure he got _mad_?” Grant smiles, not looking at Harry because he knows Harry can’t stand people looking at him, sometimes. “He looked more like he was scared shitless to me”

Harry frowns. “Scared? Zayn?” he scoffs.

Grant rolls his eyes. “Yes, Hazza. Scared, Zayn. You sure are dumb, to be the youngest, most brilliant, fittest, whatever-est CEng in the world”

Harry rolls his eyes too. “I’m not whatever-est. I am the one who gets scared, I’m the one who makes _mistakes_ ”

“Harry” Grant says, more firmly “I am gonna say this because I think no one ever tells you, because they’re too scared of how you might react. I, to be honest, am scared of very few things, and you ain’t one of them” he chuckles “On this spacecraft, the only three people who don’t know what happened a year ago are Zayn, Louis and Liam. And that’s not fair in itself, okay? But to Zayn, it’s even more unfair. Because he cares about you, and it must be driving him mad not to know why you’re always so nervous, why you’re constantly scared something’s gonna go wrong. So, earlier, Zayn wasn’t mad. He was scared. He was scared something would happen to you and you two would never have another chance to clarify things between you. No more chance to _speak_. And you know how that feels, better than most of us. You’re a _human_ , and Zayn is too”

Harry stares at Grant with his heart in tiny pieces, and tears in his eyes. Because Grant is right, and even though he can’t possibly know exactly what went wrong with the first Eva—the details of the accident are top secret—Grant must feel that Harry blames himself for it, because Grant is probably the person who knows Harry best on that spacecraft, Niall excluded.

“I hate when you make sense” Harry mutters, fidgeting with a loose thread in his jeans.

Grant grins. “Liza always says the same. I think I’m close to convincing her to give it to me”

Harry snorts a laugh. “Keep dreaming, Grant”

“Fortune favours the bold” Grant declares, standing up and offering his hand to Harry. Harry takes it, and stands up too.

“We gotta start landing procedure” Grant says “Talk to Zayn after we settle on Cassie, yeah? We’re too young to close all our doors with our own hands, Haz”

Harry smiles. “Yeah. I will, I promise”

“I’ll try to keep Ben Winston away from you” Grant winks “He’s even more gross with you than I remembered”

Harry rolls his eyes. “Do you think his crush on me will ever end?”

“Maybe when other planets will be discovered” Grant chuckles “Oops, nope, I guess not even then”

Harry rolls his eyes again and punches Grant in the shoulder as they go out of the room. “See, this is why Liza will never give you a chance” he comments.

Grant gasps. “Et tu, Hazza?”

“Grant?” Liam reaches them in the corridor “Liza, um, said to get your perfect arse back to the piloting station. She told me to repeat her exact words, sorry”

Grant grins and winks at Harry. “See? She loves me” he states, and disappears towards the control station.

Harry smiles at Liam, trying to school his features into normalcy. “Liam? Where… where’s Zayn?”

Liam pats Harry on the shoulder. “Main room, we have to buckle up for landing very shortly. Zayn cares about you, Harry, you know that, right? You might want to show him that you care about him too”

Harry arches an eyebrow, his defensive mechanisms going into gear without his total control. “Who told you I do?”

Liam chuckles. “We’re not all as oblivious as Zayn and you” he only replies, and then steers Harry towards the main room.

Nobody’s speaking as everyone buckles up. They’re all too excited, too nervous, too scared. Harry is that, and a hundred more feelings, as he also buckles up, failing again, just like he did during take-off.

He hears a sigh, and a moment later Zayn is helping him with the belt, without looking at him. They’re seated next to each other, just like they were at take-off, and Harry wonders briefly if it’s just a coincidence, or if Zayn made it so they would be close.

“Zayn?” Harry tries, cursing his voice for sounding so tentative.

Zayn hums.

“When… when we land… do you wanna hear a story of mine?”

Zayn raises his head at that, and to Harry it feels like it’s been months, years, since they’ve looked at each other in the eyes.

Zayn smiles. It’s weak, not the eye-crinkling smile of Zayn’s that Harry loves, but it’s enough. “Yeah, Haz. Tell me your story when we land” he says, buckling his own belt without even looking.

 

*

 

They land in a clear field, a coordinate perfectly thought out by Harry in order not to damage any of the purple plants populating Cassandra. Zayn thinks that if all human beings behaved as attentively as Harry, Earth wouldn’t be in such a bad shape.

Grant and Liza make a perfect landing. Zayn almost doesn’t feel it, when the bottom of the Eva 02 touches the ground.

They all cheer. Liza and Grant hug, and then Liza kisses Grant, and Harry barks a laugh so loud he’s forced to cover his mouth with his own hands. Zayn thinks Harry’s so much more beautiful when he laughs.

Once they’ve unbuckled and the port of the spacecraft is open, Cowell and Winston are the first to go out. After that, Zayn stops everyone else, and then looks at Harry. “You first” he just says, because it’s the right thing to do.

The smile Harry gives him is blinding for a moment, and the next Harry’s gone, out in the open.

The rest of them follow him.

Zayn couldn’t describe what he feels when he sets foot on Cassandra and looks around, not even if he wanted to really try.

The first thing he thinks is that he’s never been on another planet without his suit and oxygen tank. But they don’t need any of it on Cassandra. The air is breathable for people, and the weather is extremely nice, with the sun not too close and not too far from it.

Harry has already told him. _There’s gravity and oxygen on Cassie. Life is possible there, Zayn_ , he said. Seeing it is a whole other kind of deal.

The valley they’re in is a huge extension of purple grass, as far as the eye can see, with purple trees all around, in different tones, but all purple. Zayn can see fruits on the trees, and a gigantic waterfall at the furthest west end of the field, surrounded by rocks the colour of rust and silver and gold.

Meredith and Mark are kneeling on the ground, their fingers gently stroking the grass threads, and all they can say over and over again is “Amazing. Amazing”. Zayn understands them even if he’s not a biologist.

The sky is blue, same as Earth’s sky, but it’s lighter, different. Brighter. The moon is also there, right next to the sun, cohabitating the sky at a close distance. “The darkness at night is gonna be lighter” Niall tells Zayn with a smile “It’ll take adjustment. Kind of like night time in Iceland during the summer”

“We’ll warn all the future inhabitants to bring their sunglasses and night masks” Liam says lightly “This is amazing, Jesus, I can’t believe we’re _here_ ”

Zayn smiles and nods. “It’s crazy”

“And Haz is gone” Niall chuckles, looking somewhere far ahead.

Zayn follows his gaze and sees Harry walking towards the trees. Without even speaking, all of them follow Harry, towards the trees that look like weeping willows, although the shape of the leaves is different and kinda weird.

Once they reach the trees, Zayn gapes.

The trees _move_.

Not their trunks, but their branches and leaves move gracefully, like arms extending towards them. Zayn gasps and moves to grab Harry not to let him get too close to the plants, but Harry raises a hand, his eyes trained on the plant, and takes some steps forward.

“Styles! Get back!” Cowell shouts.

Harry shushes him. “Be quiet” he murmurs.

Everyone does. The tree Harry’s staring at is purple, like all of them, but Zayn can start to see all the trees are different shades, each leaf different from the others in lighting and tone. The branches propel towards Harry, like a toddler who wants to be picked up, and Harry chuckles, extending his hand to touch the leaves orientated towards him. This particular tree is of a pale lilac, lighter than most, but Zayn can already spot more trees with a similar colour around.

“Hey, Cass” Harry says “And I thought I was being stupid, talking to you like that. But you understand me, don’t you”

The tree moves, and it’s a clear nod.

“Fucking hell” Niall mutters.

The trees hiss, and Harry laughs. “I think they don’t appreciate swearing”

Zayn’s legs are slowly giving out. “So… they’re… _sentient_?”

Harry shrugs. “All plants are” he states “These are just more… vocal. It’s amazing, Zayn. They… they _speak_ ” he adds, still stroking the tree’s leaves with his hand.

Zayn doesn’t understand a single thing he’s seeing. Speaking trees? What is this, a fantasy movie? _Avatar_?

Zayn shakes his head, and then recoils when a longer branch from another lilac tree snakes towards him. He’s not sure he wants to be touched by a tree.

“Calm down” Harry chuckles “They just want to tell you something”

“This is crazy” Zayn says, but lets the leaves reach him.

And then he understands what Harry’s saying.

The trees do speak. It’s not exactly English, and it’s not exactly any language. It’s more some sort of images and flashes, but the sense is conveyed pretty clearly into Zayn’s brain.

_Harry saw us and we saw Harry._

_You are welcome here._

Zayn huffs a laugh, mesmerized by the images he’s seeing. Of the Eva 02 during landing, but from the perspective of _Cassandra_. Harry smiling and looking up, his hands in the leaves.

All of them, tiny and insignificant in front of those big trees.

The curiosity of the plants at the sight of such a new, strange species coming from the universe.

“What kind of plants are these?” someone sighs, probably Louis. Zayn is still too distracted, but he sees everyone is touching the lilac trees, the big ones in the shape of weeping willows, and they’re all bright-eyed and gaping.

A word takes form in Zayn’s mind, coming from the tree.

_Grannir_.

“They’re called Grannir” he says, and hears Harry say the same thing. They smile at each other.

“You said the planet wasn’t inhabited, but it’s not true” Niall chuckles “The plants _are_ the inhabitants”

Harry stares at the plants some more, and then his face falls, and he shakes his head. “This place can’t be inhabited by humans” he says quickly “They’ll destroy them. Ruin them. These beings are too important, they’re what keeps this planet alive. Man will destroy them, we only know how to _kill_ , it’s gonna be a disaster and…”

It’s the tree who interrupts him. _We’ll give man a possibility if you vouch for your kind_ , it tells Harry.

Zayn notices the speaking tree is now touching everyone, probably so that everyone can hear what it says.

Harry’s eyes are full of tears. “I don’t know if I can even vouch for myself. How can I vouch for the whole human race?”

The tree does something that sounds like a chuckle. _Will you help your kind preserve life on this planet like they couldn’t do on theirs?_ , it asks.

Harry takes a breath, and then nods. “I’ll do anything” he says at last.

All the trees whisper and rustle, and to Zayn it feels like a pact, an alliance being formed.

The Grannir slowly remove their branches from the humans’ hands, and return to their erected position, at least three or four meters tall, moving and shaking like they’re people breathing.

Harry is pale and astonished when he looks at Zayn. “We should prepare our camp and start the tests as long as it’s day time. We don’t know how the night is gonna be, light-wise and temperature-wise”

The tree in front of Harry lowers a single branch and touches him on the shoulder. Harry listens, and then chuckles. “She said it’s gonna be very cold, and to wear that disgusting thing we do with sheep skin” he tells everyone, and then eyes the tree “It’s called wool, and I can assure you it’s perfectly safe for the sheep”

The tree literally _shrugs_. Like a fucking person.

“She?” Meredith asks “They have different sexes?”

Harry nods. “This one’s a she, for sure. I think Zayn’s is a he. They’re dating” he says.

Everybody stares at him. “Oh, come on. I’m _joking_ ” he rolls his eyes.

The trees rustle wildly. “They… they’re _laughing_ ” Louis hisses, wide-eyed.

Ben Winston has already gone half the way to the spacecraft when he speaks. “Are we done talking to the trees? We have shit to do”

Harry rolls his eyes again, and Zayn feels something touch his arm. He fights with all his might not to jump, and he almost manages. The voice in his head, now that Harry’s mentioned it, really sounds like it’s a he. _I don’t like that man_ , the Grannir tells Zayn.

Zayn sighs. “Nobody does, my leafy friend. Nobody does” he tells the plant.

He decides it’s not that weird that he’s made friends with a tree, if the tree also dislikes Ben Winston.

 

*

 

As they set camp while Meredith and Mark start to run tests on the plants and the waters—Harry makes them promise more than ten times that the tests won’t hurt the Grannir—Harry makes a list in his mind of all the things he’s already learned about Cassandra.

Only the pale lilac trees are Grannir. They’re the only ones who can speak to them. The Grannir and the rest of the trees are all connected through the ground, much like a lymphatic system of the planet. Like Earth, most likely.

The water from the rivers and the lakes is drinkable.

There’s a zone, on the other far end of the planet, where the sea is. The sea water is also drinkable, although Gea says it tastes like shit.

Gea is the Grannir Harry has talked to when they’ve landed. It’s not her real name, they don’t have names, but Harry has asked her if he can call her Gea, and she’s said yes.

They’re not pets, the Grannir. But Harry feels like they’re just as loyal and important.

Cassandra is half as big as Earth, which still means it’s enormous.

They can build sustainable life on it, on the condition it won’t hurt the Grannir. Harry will die trying to defend those trees if it’s necessary, that’s for sure.

The golden and silver rocks aren’t worth much. The rusty ones are precious. They’re as valuable as rubies, but Harry and Zayn are the only ones who know. They’ve both silently agreed not to share the info they got from the Grannir with the others for now. They don’t need greed taking over just yet.

They don’t have a time system, so for now they’re using the Earthly one according to the light.

It’s almost night time, Harry can see it in the way the sky is darkening and Cassandra is spinning further away from the sun.

Gea has told him that half of the year the night is very short and light, and the other half, it’s long and very dark.

_Just like Iceland, Niall was right_ , Harry has thought with a chuckle.

And well, if people can survive in Iceland, they can survive on Cassie. The weather is even nicer than in Iceland, from what the Grannir have told them.

Night falls, and they use the lamps from the spacecraft to illuminate the camp a little, even though Harry insists it isn’t necessary.

The Grannir have never seen artificial light, and they’re very amazed by the inventive of men, just like human beings are amazed whenever a dog executes a command really well. It’s cute, Harry thinks.

Everybody falls asleep pretty soon, light night be damned. Harry guesses everybody’s tired, but he isn’t yet, the rush of adrenaline still cursing through his body. He gets a bit farther away from the camp, helplessly drawn by the Grannir, and sits at the roots of Gea.

The Grannir glow a little when it’s dark. It’s like there’s lilac beads of light braided through their leaves. They don’t shine particularly bright, but it’s so beautiful to watch.

Harry is starting to wish Cassandra could only be inhabited by _him_.

_Don’t. The Grannir are fine on their own. Your kind isn’t_ , Gea tells him, brushing his head with her leaves.

Harry chuckles. “I’ve been alone for quite some time now” he tells her.

Gea shrugs. _I guess it can be fine for a while. But after that, what are you going to do when you won’t like to be alone anymore?_

Harry doesn’t reply, but Gea’s right. It’s not like Harry _likes_ being alone. It’s just a self-imposed punishment, he guesses.

“Hey” a voice next to him says.

Harry doesn’t have to look up to know it’s Zayn, but he does anyway. Zayn is bright eyed, the low lights of the trees reflecting purple and lilac in his big eyes.

Harry smiles. “Hey. Sorry I disappeared. Wanted to talk a little bit with the lady”

Zayn nods, and looks at Gea. “Can I sit?”

_I like this one. He’s very cool_.

Harry snorts. “Who even taught you that word?”

_The loud one with the blue eyes_ , she replies.

Zayn is grinning. “What did she say?” he asks. You can only hear what the Grannir says if it’s touching you.

“She said she likes you and you’re very cool” Harry repeats, and Gea laughs.

Zayn takes it as permission to sit down, so he does. He scoots closer to Harry, cross-legged, and Harry thinks he could die peacefully if it was in the darkness of Cassandra, with Zayn and only Zayn, and Gea as the only source of light.

_So dramatic_ , Gea comments. Harry sticks out his tongue at her, and ignores her comment.

“Haz?” Zayn says uncertainly “Do you… do you still wanna talk?”

Harry’s heart is beating unevenly, but then he remembers what Grant has said. _It’s not fair for Zayn not to know why you’re always so nervous, always so sad._

Grant is right, and Harry has to talk eventually. Might as well be now.

Gea stops brushing Harry’s head, like she wants to give the two of them some privacy, and Harry appreciates it, although he’s come to feel safer with the leaves touching him rather than not.

Zayn doesn’t say anything. He waits until Harry collects his thoughts enough to start speaking.

He starts from the beginning, and pushes through until the end, until the tears are burning trails down his face, until the guilt makes him only look at the purple grass threads he’s sitting on.

Until he knows Zayn will never be able to look at him either, because Harry is a murderer, he killed those people with his incompetence, and he’s a greedy arsehole because he’s still happy he got back to work and was able to be one of the first people on Cassandra.

He tells Zayn all the details so few people know. About what was really wrong with the Eva 01, the fucking failure in the space-mode. Only Cowell, Winston, Niall and the committee who examined the case know all that, but Zayn deserves it, he deserves to know why Harry is so fucked up, why he doesn’t call his mum and doesn’t want to be with the family he broke.

Zayn listens, and doesn’t utter a sound, not even when Harry’s tale is completed and he’s just there, crying his heart out and gripping Gea’s bark like the tree could ever ease his pain. It doesn’t, it can’t, nothing can.

Harry doesn’t look at Zayn, not until he’s able to stop his own tears and recollect himself a little. When he does raise his head, Zayn is staring at him, and his eyes are also wet, with tears staining his cheeks. “You… you’ve been carrying this… this _burden_ alone for all this time?” he asks at the end, his voice cracking.

Harry nods. “I deserve it, Zayn. It was my fault. I shouldn’t even be here, I should be in jail”

“It’s not your fault”

Zayn says it so firmly and passionately that for a wild, wild second Harry is tempted to believe him. But what does Zayn know? He wasn’t even there, no one was. Only Harry and Niall and Cowell and Winston. Grant wasn’t there, Meredith wasn’t there, Mark wasn’t there. Not Zayn, not Louis, not Liam. None of them _know_.

“It’s not your fault, babe” Zayn says again, cupping Harry’s face with his hands “And I know you’re probably thinking that I can’t possibly know, and you’re right, I don’t. But I knew about the accident, the whole world does. And do you wanna know what’s the only thing that everybody _knows_?”

Harry nods.

“That it was an _accident_ ” Zayn says slowly “It was an accident, nobody’s at fault, including you. And I won’t tell you not to blame yourself, because you can if you want to. But I want you to try _not_ wanting it, because I think I’m in love with you, but I can’t love you if you don’t let me. And if you keep blaming yourself, you’re not gonna let _anyone_ love you like you deserve”

Harry’s breath is cut clean short at Zayn’s words. _In love with me? Love me? Me?_

Zayn nods, like he can see Harry’s thoughts just like the Grannir can. “Yeah, babe. You. It breaks my heart that you think you don’t deserve it, and that you inflicted all this pain and solitude to yourself because the rest of the world didn’t think you should be punished. Please, Harry. Let me in. Let me show you all the _good_ you did, when you’re here only thinking you did _bad_ ” he says, gesturing with his arm all around, encompassing the trees, the rivers, the fields and the waterfalls.

Harry sniffles. “They died because of me, Zayn. I should have checked space-mode one last time. I should have _done_ something”

Zayn shakes his head. “No, Harry. There was nothing that could be done. And if you need me to tell you this ten times a day for the rest of our lives, then I will”

_For the rest of our lives. Does he really plan on spending that with me?_ , Harry asks himself.

Gea’s leaves caress his shoulder. _Let this man tell you what you don’t think you deserve to hear, Harry. He loves you, we can all feel it_ , she says in Harry’s head.

Harry doesn’t know what to do, or what to say.

So he does the only thing he knows for sure he wants. He leans forward, and kisses Zayn.

It feels both like three seconds and three years since they’ve last kissed. Zayn sighs and sags against Harry, closing his eyes and stroking Harry’s cheekbones with his thumbs, a small smile playing on his lips as he kisses Harry back. “You scare the shit out of me, CEng Harry Edward Styles” he mutters.

Harry hums questioningly.

Zayn nods. “Because I never know if I can be enough for you, I never know if you even want me, and I never know what the fuck you’re thinking in that super-brain of yours”

Harry chuckles, tears still running down his cheeks. “Now you know everything I think, Zayn. Is it enough? Am I enough?”

Zayn nods furiously. “It’s more than enough. Fuck, Harry, you have no idea. No idea”

“About what?”

“About the constellations I still see when I look at you” Zayn whispers, and kisses Harry again, more roughly, his tongue pushing against Harry’s lips to demand more access.

Harry would be crazy not to grant it to him, so he opens his mouth and lets Zayn slide his tongue against his, their arms curling around each other’s neck.

“Fuck, babe” Zayn sighs “The things I’ve been wanting to do to you since the last time I touched you”

Harry is about to make a comment about Gea still watching them, but he doesn’t, because right that moment another voice interrupts them. “Um, lads?”

It’s Louis. Harry and Zayn stop kissing, albeit with some difficulty—and with a giggle from Gea—and they look up only to find Louis, Liam and Niall staring at them with arched eyebrows.

“Hi?” Harry says, embarrassed.

Louis is the first to speak again. “Okay, sorry to interrupt. Hey Gea, we gotta sit, and if you shielded us a little it would be appreciated” he quickly says, plopping down on the ground next to Harry and Zayn. Liam and Niall do the same.

Gea moves her branches until they make quite the shield around the five of them.

“What’s going on? Why the secrecy?” Harry asks, frowning.

The lights from Gea’s leaves grant them a bit more visual, and he immediately notices Niall’s holding a cable. A cable Harry recognizes.

“That’s my cable” Zayn says “The one that broke”

Louis shakes his head. “The thing is, Zayn, that it _didn’t_ break” he says in a whisper “Niall kept it after you two came back from the space-walk. Everybody was making a fuss. Nobody noticed Niall brought the cable away. And we’ve all looked at it. Look at it, Zayn. It’s _not_ broken”

Zayn takes the cable from Niall’s hands, and stares at it. Harry does the same, leaning over Zayn’s shoulder. And then his stomach lurches, because Louis is right. The cable isn’t broken.

There’s a slash right on the top, right where it was connected to Zayn’s suit, and it’s perfectly clean, too perfect to be a normal damage.

“Somebody cut it” Liam says grimly “And we don’t know who”

_I know. I saw it in his thoughts_ , Gea says.

Harry feels like his heart is hammering its way out of his chest. He looks at Gea’s branches, and sees her leaves touching all five of them, a sign that she’s speaking to everyone now.

They all look at her. “Gee?” Harry says carefully “Who is it?”

Gea’s lights flicker, like she’s alarmed. _It’s the man we don’t like. The one who always touches you when you don’t want him to, Harry._

Harry feels Zayn’s whole body go rigid against him. His honey eyes are angry. “Ben Winston?” he asks, unnecessarily.

Gea nods. _Ben Winston_ , she confirms.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry I haven't been updating as quickly as I usually do, but I was abroad. Now I'm back with a vengeance!  
> As usual, let me know what you're thinking :)  
> I am also on Tumblr as wont-you-stay-till-the-am.tumblr.com, come hit me up if you wanna talk.


	5. The Seed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Happiness is something you build for yourself, not something that someone else decides you deserve. If you built that giant machine over there, I’m sure you can build a little bit of happiness for yourself as well._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual disclaimer: I don't know or own any of the characters present in this work. I only own the plot and the original characters.

 

 

_Ben Winston._

Zayn has to use all the self-control he’s mastered in years and years of space training not to just stand up and bash Ben Winston’s face in.

Harry understands his feelings anyway, because he swiftly grabs him by an arm, to keep him in place under the sparkling lilac shield Gea is still providing.

_I advise you all to be careful with that human_ , the tree tells them, _His mind is not… normal. I don’t know how to explain._

Harry nods. “It’s okay, Gee. We’re gonna be fine”

Zayn doesn’t know if they’re really gonna be fine. They can’t accuse Ben because they don’t have any proof, and he’s not sure the word of a tree counts. On the other hand, they do have the cut cable with them, so they could at least start to expose the problem to Cowell.

He needs to think. They all do.

Gea, Gee for Harry, does a weird sound at that point, and they all frown at her, except Harry himself, who chuckles. “She’s yawning” he says “Let’s go, let her sleep. Goodnight, Gee. Sweet dreams?” he adds with a small frown of his own.

Gea brushes her leaves on Harry’s head. _I don’t know what ‘dreams’ are, Harry. But thanks. Have sweet ones too._

“I’ll tell you what a dream is tomorrow” Harry smiles.

Zayn could stay there just looking at Harry interact with trees all night, but as the others all stand up to leave the tree finally alone, he does the same.

Louis looks at Zayn with a serious expression. “We need to speak to Cowell in the morning, Zed”

Zayn nods. “Yeah, yeah. We will. First thing in the morning” he assures.

They all say goodnight, and walk over where the small bonfire is still weakly lit. Zayn sees that the ‘camp’ they were supposed to set up is just machines, the ones to analyse the soil and the waters, and other kinds of equipment he literally has zero idea about.

Grant is there with Liza, Meredith and Mark, and they’re all yawning as they put the last machine in place. “We brought tents but Cowell said it’s more efficient if we just keep sleeping in the spacecraft” Grant announces, huffing as he straightens his back.

Harry sighs. “But it’s so _beautiful_ out here!” he complains.

Grant grins, and throws a backpack at Harry. “I knew you were gonna say that” he says “That’s why I brought out your tent anyway. Be my guest, boy scout. Enjoy the hard ground while we sleep on a cloud of heaven” he adds, waving at them with another grin and going inside the spacecraft.

Louis laughs, and he, Liam and Niall say goodnight one last time before following Grant inside, leaving Harry and Zayn alone.

Harry looks at Zayn with a pout. “You can go as well, if you want. Grant’s right. It’s not gonna be particularly comfortable”

Zayn chuckles, and walks a bit closer to Harry, invading his personal space and grabbing the pack from his hands. “I gotta be mental to pass on a night of cuddles under the stars” he declares, and he means it more than just a joke.

Harry giggles a little, and kisses Zayn unexpectedly, just a light press of their lips. “Okay then. Let’s open this thing”

They mount the tent, trying to be as quiet as possible, and when it’s done, Zayn thinks it’s a bit small for two people, but it’s okay, because it’s not like he plans on _not_ sleeping glued to Harry anyway.

When they crawl inside and lay on top of the sleeping bag, Zayn realizes the ceiling of the tent is see-through, so they have a perfect view of the sky. The lighting is different on Cassie at night, because the night itself is lighter, and the moon is so much closer than it is to Earth. Everything looks brighter, washed in silver, and so is Harry’s face, his nose pointed at the sky and his eyes gleaming.

Zayn rolls on his side, and stares at Harry for a while as Harry looks at the stars.

“Stop staring” Harry grins then.

Zayn chuckles. “How do you know I’m staring at you? You’re not even looking at me”

Harry turns his head, and does look at Zayn. “I can feel your eyes on me” he just replies.

Zayn scoots closer to Harry, his front moulded to Harry’s side, and kisses Harry’s nose. “Are you okay?”

Harry nods. “Are you?”

Zayn shrugs. “For just having found out that someone’s tried to kill me, I think I’m pretty chill at the moment”

Harry sighs, and rolls on his side too, to look at Zayn better. “I’m sorry, Zayn. If, like, if Ben did this because of me”

Zayn sighs too. “Why do you _always_ think everything’s your fault, Harry?”

“But it is” Harry answers stubbornly “Ben has no reason for wanting to kill you. The only one I can think of is that… he wants me. But he’s figured out I’d rather be with you. Not that I’d ever be with him if you didn’t exist, obviously. I’d rather cut my own dick off. He’s so… so _sleazy_. I can’t stand him. He’s always there staring at me, he makes me so fucking uncomfortable, and then he always finds an excuse to _touch_ me, and it’s…”

Zayn kisses Harry to shut him up. He’s soon found out that the best way to stop Harry’s rambling is a kiss, and he likes to use the knowledge even more than actually necessary. “Stop talking about Ben fucking Winston, babe” he whispers on Harry’s lips “We can use our time more wisely, I think”

Harry nods furiously. “Yeah” he breathes “Yeah, definitely”

It turns out Harry isn’t _that_ worried about his new friend Gee seeing them fucking.

 

*

 

When he wakes up the next morning, Zayn’s mood has worsened a little bit.

It’s like everything has sunk in during the night.

Ben Winston trying to kill him.

Harry blaming himself for something that was out of his control, with a guilt he’ll probably feel for the rest of his life. Harry might not completely look it, but he’s damaged goods. The thought breaks Zayn’s heart as soon as he opens his eyes to the new day, and sees Harry sleeping peacefully next to him.

_Is it really_ peacefully _, though? Will it ever be for him?_

A fuss outside their tent makes Zayn sit up and wear his sweatpants and t-shirt before going out of the tent. It’s a blessing, to be on a mission and not having to wear the space suit at all times.

Everybody’s there, around a makeshift table with breakfast.

“Morning” Louis says “I was about to come wake you and Harry up”

Zayn’s eyes drift to Ben. He’s sitting at the table, eating and looking at his plate, but Zayn doesn’t miss his sour expression. It’s blatant, now, that Harry and Zayn sleep together.

Zayn smiles. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of waking Harry up” he says a bit louder than he normally would “He can be a pain in the arse when he hasn’t gotten much sleep”

Louis arches an eyebrow at him, concealing a grin, and Zayn hears a couple of chuckles coming from the table. Cowell is shaking is head with a resigned expression, as if he’s thinking _Jesus, these kids_ , and Mark is discreetly handing a bill to Meredith with a mutter while Meredith grins, as if she’s just won a bet.

Zayn chuckles and goes back inside the tent, crouching next to Harry and lightly shaking him by an arm. “Haz, babe” he whispers “It’s morning. Wake up, babe”

Harry murmurs something unintelligible and opens his eyes, blinking for a while as his eyes focus on Zayn. “How can you be so fit even when you just woke up?” he slurs.

Zayn laughs. “’S my superpower” he declares.

Harry rolls his eyes and slowly sits up, his hair a mess of tangles. Zayn might be partly responsible, for how much he’s driven his fingers through it and pulled at it while they had sex the night before.

Harry gets dressed and ties his hair in a bun before exiting the tent after Zayn. Once he’s out, he stretches with his eyes closed against the sun.

Zayn can’t help shooting another glance at Ben now, and of course he’s looking, _he’s always fucking looking, why didn’t I notice before, why did I think it wasn’t a problem?_

Zayn puts himself in Ben’s line of sight, in front of Harry, because Harry’s still half asleep and probably hasn’t noticed they’re not alone anymore.

Niall also sees the problem at hand. “Morning! I made bacon and eggs!” he shouts, and Harry starts.

“Fucking hell, everybody’s here” he comments, looking at Zayn.

“Yep” Zayn confirms.

They sit at the table with the rest of their team—Zayn sits next to Ben so Harry won’t have to—and they eat in relatively companionable silence.

In front of him, he sees Harry jump a little and then laugh, bending sideways to reach his own ankle. When Zayn looks down, he sees one of Gea’s thin branches has snaked up to the table and has wrapped around Harry’s leg. Harry is stroking the leaves.

_It’s like she’s become his pet_ , Zayn thinks incredulously.

“Holy fuck, how _far_ can those bloody _things_ reach?” Ben asks, frowning.

Harry looks at him. “They’re trees, not _things_. And, further than you can, I reckon” he replies coldly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Harry shrugs. “It is what it is”

Cowell and the others frown a little at them, puzzled by the exchange, and Zayn stares at Harry until Harry finally looks at him. He tries to tell Harry with his eyes, _Don’t overdo it, it’s dangerous._

Harry must understand, because he nods and keeps eating his breakfast in silence, one hand still petting Gea’s leaves. From the way he nods and chuckles every now and then, Zayn reckons he’s having a silent conversation with the tree.

When breakfast is over, everybody goes back to their duties.

The astronauts and the engineers don’t have much to do in the planet analysis department, so they settle for helping the actual scientists when they need it. Before that, though, Zayn manages to catch Cowell alone and very far from Ben, who has gone with Mark and Liza by the river.

“Captain, I have to talk to you. It’s very urgent” he tells Cowell.

Cowell nods, and waits.

“My spacewalk. The one in which I almost died. It wasn’t an accident” Zayn says, lowering his voice as much as he can.

Cowell’s face hardens. “What are you saying, Mr. Malik?”

“What I just said. My cable was sabotaged. It was Ben Winston”

“These are very serious accusations, Mr. Malik. Why do you think it was Winston?”

Zayn braces himself for what is gonna come next. “Gea. The tree. She said she saw it in his mind”

Cowell doesn’t answer for a second, and then sighs. “You do understand I can’t have the word of a tree as proof, right, Mr. Malik?”

Zayn nods. “I do. But I swear I believe her. Niall has the cable. The cut is clearly visible. I know you can’t believe me on the word of a tree, Captain, but I had to notify you, at least until more tangible proof comes out”

Cowell nods. “I’ll keep this into consideration. I suggest you don’t do anything reckless, Mr. Malik. Ben Winston is still your superior, and we’re on a fucking deserted planet. It’s hardly the place to have a trial”

Zayn nods again, trying to gulp down his anger. “Thanks for listening, Captain”

Cowell nods again, and leaves to go inside the spacecraft.

Zayn had hoped Cowell would do _something_ about the whole deal, but what’s he gonna do when they don’t have tangible proof?

 

*

 

Harry decides to go help Meredith at the waterfall, even though Grant is already there with her, because the alternative is to go help Mark, and Ben is by the river with him.

He knows that as they kneel by the water on the top of the waterfall, Zayn is speaking to Simon Cowell. Harry wonders if Simon will believe Zayn, if he will even take Gea’s words into consideration, or if he’ll get angry and expose the whole thing to Ben himself.

Harry doesn’t know how Ben could react, seeing that he’s apparently not opposed to fucking _murder_.

“What’s got your knickers in a twist?” Grant asks him.

Harry shrugs. “Nothing much. Stuff”

Meredith rolls her eyes as she extracts some stones and soil from under the coursing water. “It’s _always_ ‘stuff’ with you. Come on, spit it. What’s bothering you now that you have a fit boyfriend and a talking tree at your beck and call?”

Harry blushes, he can feel it in the way his cheeks get instantly warmer. “He’s not my boyfriend. I think. Maybe he is. I don’t know for sure”

“He is” Grant assures “If you think your little flirting thing went unnoticed, you’re sorely mistaken”

“Don’t I know it” Harry mutters, thinking that it didn’t go unnoticed with Ben either, and that’s the reason Zayn almost died.

He talks, though. He trusts Meredith and Grant more than he trusts himself most of the time, so he knows it’s safe. He tells them about Ben being responsible for the accident, and when he’s done speaking, he sees Grant ball his fists.

“That motherfucker has to pay” he says.

Harry shakes his head. “Be quiet. I shouldn’t have told you. Nobody has to know for now, okay? If Ben catches ear of this, we don’t know what he’d do”

“He can come at me” Grant says resolutely “Filthy bastard, does he think nobody noticed how he’s always coming after you?”

Harry rolls his eyes. “Grant, I do appreciate your indignation for my innocence being threatened, but please, _be fucking quiet_ ” he growls “Let Zayn speak to Cowell. Cowell will handle this if necessary. If not, we’ll think about it when we’re back on Earth. Not that I really wanna go back”

The thought of going back to Earth doesn’t sound particularly appealing to Harry, now.

He feels like he can be someone else, someone _good_ , on Cassandra. It’s virgin territory, it’s a place far away from his past and whatever he did.

Grant sighs, and pats Harry on the shoulder. “You’re gonna be fine, Haz”

Harry isn’t sure about that either, but he nods anyway, to show Grant he appreciates his concern.

 

*

 

Night falls slowly and without much darkness, just like the day before.

Mark and Meredith, with the help of the rest of the team, have gathered a lot of material to analyse, and they’re still at work with their equipment inside the spacecraft. They only came out for dinner, and then they went back inside.

Harry appreciates their commitment, but he’s also worried about how much they’re working. He wishes he could do more to help them.

And isn’t that always the issue? He should do more, should have done more, but he can’t couldn’t.

He doesn’t have a chance to properly talk to Zayn until they go back to their tent to sleep, because Ben is always within earshot, always a bit too close to Harry, and Harry can see Zayn starting to lose his patience.

Zayn tells him Cowell didn’t exactly get mad, but he didn’t properly _believe_ Zayn either. Harry had seen it coming, and he does his best to reassure Zayn that everything’s gonna be fine.

Zayn doesn’t seem to agree, and he’s in a foul mood for the rest of the night, until he falls asleep, long before Harry himself does.

The next five days go by exactly in the same way, with Zayn’s patience obviously thinning, and Harry’s mood slowly deteriorating.

 

*

 

_Harry?_

Harry nods and looks up at Gea, with her sparkly lilac leaves rustling around him.

_Are you sad because you’re leaving tomorrow?_

Harry sighs, and nods again. “Yeah. That too”

_What else?_

“Zayn” Harry says lowering his voice, although nobody is close to the Grannir enough to listen in. “He’s becoming more and more frustrated about this whole Ben deal. I’m afraid he’s gonna lose it and do something reckless. I wouldn’t be surprised”

Gea chuckles. _Your Zayn is a bit reckless indeed. Yesterday I was talking to him and I saw in his head that some years ago he ate a spoonful of something you humans call ‘cinnamon’ just because someone else told him he wouldn’t manage. I think he almost died._

“See?!” Harry exclaims “If he almost died ‘cause of a dare, just imagine what he could do now that someone actually tried to kill him. I’m so fucking worried, Gee”

_Don’t be. Zayn is reckless, not stupid. I’m sure he won’t do anything too dangerous._

Harry sighs. “I hope so” he says, sending a glance to the small bonfire where he can still see everybody sitting and talking. The nights are getting a bit darker. Maybe the weird ‘summer’ season on Cassie is ending.

_Harry? What about the one with the yellow, curly hair?_

“You mean Grant?” Harry frowns.

_Yes._

“What about him?”

_I’m not sure. But there’s something off with him too. His thoughts are… weird. I don’t understand them._

Harry, despite himself, chuckles. “Gee, I’m pretty sure _nobody_ really understands Grant’s thoughts. I bet they’re super fucking loud”

Gea rustles in a way that means she’s nodding. _Yes. It’s like there’s explosions inside his brain._

Harry laughs. “That’s a good way to describe Grant” he agrees, standing up “I’m gonna go see if everything’s okay over there. I’ll see you later, Gee, yeah?”

Gea laughs. _No, Harry, you won’t find me here, I think I’m gonna take a walk._

“You can move a lot more than the trees we have on Earth” he tells her “And don’t be all sarcastic at me. I think you should stop talking to Louis”

_He’s very funny, that one_ , Gea confirms.

Harry rolls his eyes. “Very funny” he says sarcastically, patting Gea’s trunk “Alright, Mrs. Sarcasm. I’ll see you later”

Gea wiggles her leaves like they’re exactly human fingers, and Harry chuckles again, walking to the bonfire.

Cowell is probably already asleep at that time, and Ben has fucked off somewhere, so Harry doesn’t think twice about it and sits on the ground next to Zayn, leaning against his side and forcibly putting Zayn’s arm around his shoulders.

Zayn chuckles. “Why yes, invade my personal space, Harry” he says, arching an eyebrow when Harry looks up at him.

“You love it” Harry grins.

“Disgusting” Liza comments “I preferred you when you were just eye-fucking”

“Why?” Zayn grins at her “You don’t like us anymore now that there’s _actual_ fucking involved?”

“Zayn!” Harry squeals a little while everybody else laughs.

Niall, Louis and Liam are also there, and so are Meredith and Mark. Grant is a bit further away, by their makeshift table filling two glasses of water, one of which he then brings to Liza, kissing her on the head.

“Speaking of disgusting” Harry comments.

Liza goes a bright shade of red, visible even in the darkness and the light of the fire. “Shut up, Harry” she mutters.

Grant snickers and sits next to her, smiling brightly. Harry thinks Grant’s happiness is contagious, and finds himself smiling at the thought that Grant had seen his dream of going into space be crushed by a small heart condition, but kept pushing and managed to accomplish his own dream anyway.

Maybe things really have a way of setting themselves straight.

It’s kinda really dark when Harry gets thirsty and stands up to go to the table and fetch himself and the others some more water. His brain itches at the anticipation of going through all the data and measurements he’s gathered on Cassie about her revolution and rotation. He’ll be able to really understand how long a day, a season, and a year is on Cassandra. He’ll do time charts. He’ll name the fucking months himself, Cowell said. The month they’re currently in is gonna be called Gea, he decides with a chuckle, looking at her, sparkling and rustling not that far from where he is.

Harry is distracted by his numbers and measurements, so he doesn’t realize Ben is also by the table until he gets there.

“Hey, Harry” Ben says, smiling.

Harry clears his throat and busies himself with filling a glass of water from the jug on the table. “Hey, Ben”

“How are you holding up?”

“Fine, thanks”

“I know you must be bummed that we’re leaving, sorry about that” Ben says, his hand coming to rest on Harry’s bicep.

Harry fights himself not to push him away, and instead he slowly takes a step backwards, making Ben’s hand fall anyway. “Ben, can I ask you something?”

“Whatever you want, Haz”

“Please, don’t touch me?”

Ben’s expression hardens, and he doesn’t reply for a moment. Then, he takes a step forward, getting closer to Harry. “So, you and Malik, huh?”

Harry clears his throat, trying to swallow the lump he feels forming in his throat. “Um. Yeah” he just replies.

Ben sighs. “You know, at first I just thought you were just a little frigid. But you’re actually quite the slut, ain’t you?”

Harry’s stomach does a somersault at that. “I beg your pardon?”

Ben shrugs. “I dunno, Haz. You made me sweat for it so much, never gave it to me anyway no matter how long I tried with you, and then next thing I know you give it to Zayn Malik, a complete stranger, after knowing him for barely two days” he says “One would think you’d choose someone _you know_ instead”

Ben has gotten close, too close, to Harry again, and Harry feels anger bubble up in his chest, so he can’t help putting his hands on Ben’s chest to push him away.

Ben is stronger than Harry, though, and he doesn’t budge. He just grabs Harry’s hands on his chest, and chuckles.

“Zayn knows me, and I him, better than _you_ will ever know me” Harry hisses.

Ben arches an eyebrow. “Are you sure? Does he know you’re still fucking blaming yourself for the Eva 01 to the point of exhaustion? Does he know you have nightmares about it? Does he know you can’t even fucking look at your mother in the face?”

Harry’s eyes instantly fill with tears. “ _Yes!_ ” he screams, trying to push at Ben and failing again, his hands still trapped in between Ben’s fingers “Yes, he knows! How do _you_ know?”

Ben is serious now. “Because I love you and I care about you, Harry, so I look at you. I _see_ you, more than anyone will ever see you”

Harry gets his hands free from Ben’s hold with a grunt. “You _don’t_!” he shouts, starting to hear commotion behind them “You _stalk_ me! You’re always there, watching me, always fucking watching me, and it’s not out of _love_ , Ben, it’s an obsession! And I’m sorry if you ever thought it was gonna become more, because even if Zayn wasn’t involved, I’d rather die alone than be with you”

Ben gets closer for the umpteenth time, and speaks in a frantic whisper, his eyes big and kinda hurt in the lights of the lanterns they’ve set around their camp. “You will, then, Harry” Ben murmurs “Because even if everybody has forgiven you, you yourself won’t, because you know the truth. And _I_ am the only person who loves you despite _knowing_ the same truth. It was your fault, Harry. But I don’t care”

Harry’s heart breaks under Ben’s hateful words.

He knows it’s his fault, he’s always known. But Ben just confirmed it, and he might be an arsehole, but he was there, he really knows the whole truth, the truth nobody knows except Harry, Niall, Cowell, and now Zayn.

Harry doesn’t want to give Ben the satisfaction of seeing him cry, but it’s not like he can help it. He bursts into tears, with Ben still _so close so close don’t touch me don’t touch me_.

“Get the _fuck_ away from him” someone says, and Harry recognizes Zayn’s angry voice even without looking. He _can’t_ look at Zayn now. Maybe Zayn is bound to become yet another person Harry isn’t able to look in the eyes anymore.

Ben doesn’t answer, although he’s ready for it.

Because before he can say anything, Harry sees a flash of lilac, and a moment later one of Gea’s branches whips the air, wrapping around Ben’s throat and pulling him finally away from Harry.

 

*

 

Zayn understands something’s wrong when Harry takes really too much to just fill a couple glasses with water.

By the time Zayn turns to try and see what he’s doing, Harry’s screaming, and Zayn realizes Ben is with him. He doesn’t even hear what they’re saying, he just stands up and reaches them, hearing the others running after him. He sees Cowell getting out of the spaceship with a frown, alerted by the commotion.

“ _I_ am the only person who loves you despite _knowing_ the same truth” Ben is telling Harry, so close to him their noses are touching “It was your fault, Harry. But I don’t care”

Zayn’s insides melt. _No no no don’t tell him this, this is the only thing he thinks about, he’s already broken enough_ , Zayn thinks frantically, his own heart breaking with Harry’s when he sees Harry burst into tears. _And_ I _care. I care about him, you’re not the only one, I love him, get the fuck away from him_ , Zayn’s brain whirs.

“Get the _fuck_ away from him” is the only thing that actually leaves Zayn’s mouth.

Ben doesn’t listen, but it doesn’t really matter, because a moment later Zayn sees a lilac branch run through the air like lightning, and then Gea is wrapping her wooden hand around Ben’s throat, lifting him off the ground and away from Harry.

Ben gurgles.

Harry screams. “NO! GEA, STOP!”

Gea doesn’t listen. She’s emitting a scary sound, like a scream, and all the other Grannir are doing the same.

Ben chokes a little as he uselessly kicks his feet in the air and tries to loosen the vice around his neck with his hands. Zayn doesn’t do anything, and he’ll be ashamed about it later. That he was suffocating because of Ben, and now he’s letting Ben experience the same feeling without moving to do anything about it.

“Fucking…” Ben gurgles “Tree… let me go… you were supposed to be… innocuous”

Gea laughs. _Did such a thing ever leave my mind, Ben Winston? I said we are_ peaceful _. Until we can be, that is._

Zayn realizes that she’s so _angry_ that they all can hear her words, even if she’s not touching any of them except Ben.

“Gea, stop, please!” Harry shouts, tears running down his face “It’s not worth it, stop!”

Gea rustles her leaves in a way that mimics the shaking of a head. She’s not that close to them, but her branches are, because they can elongate for who knows how long. They all knew. Ben included.

_This man is evil_ , she says, _I don’t think he deserves to be touching you, Harry._

“I know” Harry says quickly, licking his chapped lips and keeping his eyes on Gea “I know. But if you kill him, that’s not justice”

_What is ‘justice’?_

“Oh, fuck” Louis mutters “Now we gotta teach morals to a tree to avoid Ben fucking Winston being squished like a snail”

Zayn looks at Cowell, but Cowell isn’t doing anything. He’s just there, gaping at the tree like he hasn’t paid much attention to her before, which is true. Like only _now_ it’s crossed his mind that a thing so _big_ and _sentient_ can be dangerous.

“Gee” Harry takes a ragged breath “Please, let him go. Killing him is not gonna solve anything. There’s gonna be another one like him. There’s always gonna be another one like him”

Gea stays motionless for a moment, and then she lowers Ben to the ground. When Ben tries to tear the branch away from his neck, though, Gea tightens her grip again. _Not so fast, disgusting human_ , she says, _Harry wants you to live. But before that, you are going to tell the truth._

“The truth about _what_?!” Ben exclaims, his face red for exertion and oxygen loss “Harry, this fucking tree is batshit, tell it to let me go”

“ _Her_ ” Harry just replies, still looking at Gea.

Gea tugs at Ben’s neck some more. _You know what I’m talking about. Speak, Ben Winston. Speak the truth, and I will let you go. Tell another lie, and I will snap your neck. Maybe you’ll be a better fertilizer than you are a human._

“Okay, okay, okay!” Ben shouts, and then looks at Zayn, not holding his gaze for even a second. “It was me”

“What do you mean, Winston?” it’s Cowell who asks, coldly.

Ben takes a choking breath and looks at the ground. “Malik’s cable. I cut it. I wanted him to die on the spacewalk”

Nobody replies for a moment. Zayn feels Harry exhale a breath, like he’s relieved the truth came out at last. Cowell is still as a statue when he speaks again. “Why” he demands.

Ben is shaking. “Because he took what should have been _mine_ ” he growls.

Zayn is frankly a bit disgusted that _this_ has been Ben all along. A person who thinks another human being can be _owned_ , when his role should have been taking care of the rest of the team.

Gea tugs at Ben harder. _Harry is not your possession. He isn’t anyone’s possession but his own._

Harry, despite everything, smiles.

Nobody else does. “Gea” Cowell says slowly “Please release Mr. Winston. I’ll make sure he’ll undergo trial on Earth when we go back tomorrow”

Gea’s leaves turn to Harry, as if she’s waiting for _him_ to say it. Of course.

Harry nods. “Let him go, Gee. It’s over, it’s fine. He won’t do anything anymore”

Gea’s branch releases Ben’s neck, and Zayn takes a mean satisfaction in seeing the red marks it’s left.

Grant and Liam are on Ben in an instant, tying his wrists behind his back. Ben, to his credit, doesn’t fight it.

As Liam and Grant push Ben towards the spacecraft, Cowell stands in their way, in martial position. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?” he asks Ben.

Ben chuckles. “I fucking hate you, Cowell”

“I am afraid the feeling has always been mutual, and yet I gave you the benefit of doubt when Mr. Malik told me what the tree had seen in your messed-up head”

Ben laughs. “Those trees are fucking _dangerous_ , Cowell. You’re making a big fucking mistake by preparing the ground for our kind to live on this planet”

Cowell chuckles, and sighs. “The trees think and move” he says with a nod “So do humans. Hopefully, we’ll learn to coexist peacefully with the inhabitants of this planet anyway. Getting the scum of our kind away from here might be the very first step”

Cowell nods at Grant and Liam, and they pull Ben away and into the spacecraft without further ado.

After Ben is taken care of, everything sounds so quiet in the camp, and soon enough, Zayn and Harry are alone in the fields, next to the Grannir who are being extremely quiet themselves.

Harry’s still kinda crying as he runs his hands up and down Gea’s trunk. “I’m so sorry, Gee, I’m sorry we brought you violence” he murmurs, sniffling.

Gea rustles. _You didn’t_ bring _it, Harry. I’ve never used it. But I think it’s been inside me all along. Like all living creatures, I reckon. You didn’t tell me to end that human’s life. I_ wanted _to._

Zayn shivers. He wanted her to do it as well. He knows it’s wrong, but he can’t change what he feels.

Harry doesn’t look at Zayn. He keeps his eyes and thoughts on Gea, and Zayn decides to leave him alone. He reluctantly looks at the tree, one of her branches stroking his face like she knows everything that’s clogging Zayn’s heart, and Zayn nods.

Harry doesn’t turn, not even when he surely hears Zayn leave.

 

*

 

Harry spends the night sitting at the roots of Gea, but soon, too soon, the sun is up in the sky, and the camp has been dismantled. They’re scheduled to leave in half an hour, as soon as Harry has checked everything works properly, but Harry is postponing that in a useless attempt at staying longer.

_Harry_ , Gea says, her leaves running through his hair. _You need to go._

Harry shakes his head. “I don’t want to”

_But you_ have _to. Without you, your kind will never be able to come live with us in the future._

“I don’t know if I want them to” Harry chuckles bitterly.

Gea rustles. _Don’t be scared of the future, Harry. You still think your kind can’t bring us anything good, but you already did. You brought the knowledge there are other life forms in the universe. You brought us the memory of your own planet. The Grannir are the keepers of memory, and you gifted us with it. We will keep it and preserve it, even in a thousand years, when your Earth will be gone. And most importantly, you taught me what dreams are. We do dream, Harry. Now we have a name for the thoughts of the sleep. Oh, and your friend Louis brought me sarcasm. I’ll make sure to use it frequently._

Harry chuckles. “I’m sure you will” he says “I’ll come back, Gee. As soon as I can. This is not a goodbye”

Gea doesn’t answer. Harry knows it’ll be a long time before he’ll set foot on Cassie again, such a long time that maybe he won’t be fit enough for space travelling. He shakes his head to get rid of the thought this probably _is_ a goodbye.

_Come closer, Harry_ , Gea says after a moment. _Give me your hands._

When Harry does as she’s asked, Gea’s branches move and rustle until they’re touching Harry’s hands. When she retreats them, Harry sees something on his palm, a lilac sphere as big as a lentil, sparkling with the same iridescent colours he can see on Gea’s leaves.

_This seed is a gift a Grannir can only produce once_ , Gea whispers to Harry. _We are immortal, Harry. We can be killed by violence, but not by old age. The price of our immortality is that we’re only able to reproduce ourselves once. I’m giving you my legacy, Harry. On Earth, this seed won’t become a Grannir of its own, but it will bear my memories and feelings anyway. You won’t hear my voice through it, but your soul is good and open, so you will be able to_ feel _me anyway. Take it with you and let it grow, Harry. Let it remind you of me, in the same way in which I will never forget you._

Harry starts crying, overwhelmed by the incredibly precious gift he’s just received. He hugs the seed close to his chest, not being able to stop his tears, and then secures it inside a small vial he has in his backpack, making extra sure the cap is sealed. When he’s done, he reaches behind his neck to unclasp his silver necklace, and then hangs it around one of Gea’s branches.

“Then don’t forget me, Gee” he murmurs through his tears “Maybe one day you’ll see my great grandchildren moving in next door”

Gea laughs. _I hope so. I’ll make sure to tell them what a sap you are, crying over a tree._

Harry, despite the looming feeling of the departure, laughs too. “You’re a little shit, ain’t you”

_Language_ , Gea scolds him. _Harry?_

“Yeah?”

_You have to let it go. Your past. I don’t completely understand what I see, but I know you lost someone very dear, and I know you feel responsible. But you have to let the guilt go, or you will never be able to be happy with yourself. And if you aren’t, you certainly won’t be able to be happy with Zayn either._

Harry sighs, risking a glance at Zayn. He’s by the spacecraft, everyone is, and they’re obviously all waiting for him.

“What if I don’t deserve to be happy with him?”

_But he wants you. Happiness is something you build for yourself, not something that someone else decides you deserve. If you built that giant machine over there, I’m sure you can build a little bit of happiness for yourself as well._

Harry chuckles. “I’m gonna miss you, Gee”

_I’ll miss you too. Take care of my seed, Harry. It holds the memories of Grannes._

“Can we keep calling Grannes Cassandra?” Harry asks.

Gea laughs. _You can keep calling Grannes Cassandra, Harry. After all, you discovered it._

Harry chuckles. He leans against Gea’s trunk, and tries to wrap his arms around it as much as he can, not even managing to hug half of her girth. Gea’s branches wrap around him too, her leaves brushing Harry’s back and hair.

“Be good” Harry says at last.

Gea laughs. _Always am, Harry Styles. Have a happy life._

 

*

 

They’ve been navigating the sky for more than five hours on their way back to Earth when Zayn finally musters enough courage to go look for Harry.

He doesn’t even really look for him. He just goes to the observatory room of the spacecraft, and sure enough, Harry’s there, sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the plexiglass wall and staring at Cassie becoming smaller and smaller.

“Harry?” he tries.

Harry turns his head, his face a mixture of emotions Zayn isn’t able to read properly. “Hey”, Harry says.

“Can I… can I sit with you?”

Harry nods, and Zayn exhales a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. Sometimes he feels like he has to handle Harry with gloves, or he’ll break right through Zayn’s fingers. Zayn sits next to Harry on the floor, and they don’t talk for a while.

“I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you” Harry says at last “I didn’t do it on purpose. I don’t know how to look at anyone right now”

“Can you look at me now, please?” Zayn asks.

Harry does. His eyes are puffy and red, like he’s cried a fair share, and Zayn has never found him more beautiful.

Zayn has a lot of things he has to tell Harry. He’s made a list, from _I love you_ to _Please stop blaming yourself_ to _Please let me in_.

As it is, he doesn’t say anything, because Harry attacks his lips unexpectedly, his long legs scrambling ungracefully until he’s straddling Zayn, their mouths entwining and their hands in each other’s hair. “I’m gonna try to let this go” Harry pants, his tongue swiping over Zayn’s bottom lip “Because I wanna be happy with you”

Zayn doesn’t answer. He just keeps kissing Harry, thinking that this is enough for now.

_It’s more than enough._

 

*

 

They don’t fuck, and they don’t speak that much, although there are a lot of things they should talk about, like what they’re really gonna be once their feet hit the ground again.

Zayn doesn’t want to push Harry too much, though, not now that he’s even more fragile than when this whole mission started.

So they just keep kissing, until Niall finds them snogging on the floor and tells them—with a giggle—that dinner is ready and they’re expected to show up before Cowell thinks they’ve just jumped off the Eva 02 and started their own colony back on Cassandra.

They straighten each other’s clothes with small smiles on their lips, and then reach the kitchen, where everybody is already sitting at the table, Ben included.

Zayn takes in the guilty, sour expression on Ben’s face, as well as one of his hands, cuffed at the leg of the table while the other is free so that he can eat.

He thinks it’s excessive, if he’s honest, because Ben seems to have realized how bad he fucked up by now. He’s fucked up his whole career, for Christ’s sake. Maybe he didn’t think about it, but he’s certainly thinking about it now, because he isn’t looking at anybody in the face.

Zayn and Harry join the others at the table, and Grant has plates already filled for them, which he sets in front of them in a much more gentle way than he does Ben’s. Grant just slams Ben’s plate on the table with a grunt, and Ben flinches a little before looking at the plate. “I’ve always hated potatoes” he mutters.

It’s not the best of calls, because Grant stares at him like he’s a maggot. “Well, too bad, _vice-Captain_ , because that’s all you get, and it’s already more than you deserve”

Harry shakes his head at Grant, like he wants to tell him _Stop, it’s not worth it._

Grant shakes his head in return, and looks at Ben again. “Still complaining about everything, ain’t you” he growls “You don’t like that the second pilot is a woman, you don’t like that Zayn and Harry are together, you don’t like that the trees have more brains than you have, you don’t even like that the grass on Cassandra is _purple_ ”

“Mr. Hollands” Cowell says calmly “Please take your seat and stop”

“No” Grant retorts “No, I’m not gonna stop, because this man is a murderer, or at least he would have been if Harry hadn’t done something about Zayn dying in outer fucking space, and yet all he got was a little bit of choking from a tree, and now he’s even eating at our same table”

“Mr. Winston will receive a proper trial once we’re back on Earth” Cowell says.

“Grant, please” Liza adds with a sigh, and then turns to Harry “He’s really fucking angry, has been since Ben confessed, I don’t know what to do with him”

Harry sighs. “Grant? It’s alright. Everything’s over”

“It’s not” Grant replies, and then produces himself in a mean grin, an evil expression Zayn has never seen on his face. He rests his hands on the table and looms over Ben. “You’re not complaining anymore now? Have you had enough? Don’t you wanna complain about anything anymore? Don’t you have anything to say about Harry now? Always giving him shit because he didn’t want you, or because he was obsessed with checking space-mode, which of course he was after what happened to the Eva 01 since that was the problem, but no, you had to give him shit about it, even, instead of being grateful Harry wanted to be sure your sorry arse wouldn’t be blown to tiny pieces”

Zayn doesn’t know why, but he thinks there’s something off with Grant and what he said. Ben finally raises his head to meet Grant’s eyes, and he’s frowning, his mouth a bit agape.

Nobody says a word.

Then, Harry stands up, his face pale as a ghost, his whole body shaking. “Grant?” he asks “How do you know that space-mode was the problem with the Eva 01?”

Zayn immediately realizes the problem at hand. _Harry told me nobody knows the problem was the space-mode. Only Niall, Cowell and Winston. For the rest of the world, the detail was top secret. They didn’t even tell us in the States. Even NASA didn’t know._

Grant’s face is a mixture of anger and fear, and his lips are shaking. “I, um, Niall told me once. I don’t remember when”

Niall stands up too, his face unreadable. “No, I didn’t. I’m pretty sure I would remember divulging a state secret, Grant”

Zayn looks at Harry again. He’s never seen him shake in anger like that, his whole body sending off waves of heat to Zayn next to him. “How do you know, Grant?”

“I dunno, I…” Grant tries, and then doesn’t finish the sentence.

Harry’s muttering something under his breath. It looks like he’s counting something, his fingers drumming on the steel surface of the table, his lips syllabling things Zayn can’t understand.

“You were there” Harry says at last, like he’s talking to himself “You were there. But you weren’t supposed to be there. You’d been dismissed. You were supposed to be home. Robin sent you home because it was clear you didn’t fill the requirements to be an astronaut. Why were you there?”

Nobody utters a sound.

Finally, Grant straightens his back and looks like he’s bracing himself for something when he looks at Harry and replies. “I didn’t go home. I was angry. I wanted to at least see the launch”

“You were hiding, or we would have seen you. _Where_ did you hide?” Harry demands.

Grant loses his cool and starts stuttering. “I… I hid in… in the spacecraft storage” he says “I swear I didn’t wanna do anything bad, Haz, it’s just, I was hiding behind the spacecraft, and there was something, like a cable, and I tripped in it, and some panel came off, but I fixed it, I put it back, I swear! I didn’t think it was important!”

_Fuck_. Zayn is just as speechless as everybody else as Grant rambles on about what he did a year earlier.

Harry’s eyes are wide in his face, and he’s still shaking, and Zayn just wants to grab him and take him away and put him to bed to sleep this whole thing off, because _how much can he still take?_

Harry keeps staring at Grant. “But it was important. You tore off the space-mode panel. There’s a procedure to put it back, you don’t just shove it in”

“I didn’t know!” Grant exclaims, raising his hands “I thought it was fine! And even after… after the accident, I didn’t think that was the problem, not until the same panel in _this_ spacecraft broke and we had to repair it”

“It was you” Harry says, and Zayn almost doesn’t recognize his voice “You killed them”

“No!” Grant whines “Harry, a single fucking panel can’t cause all _that_ , right? There must have been something else that was wrong, yeah? Something nobody noticed and…”

“The panel was placed incorrectly, and the examining committee couldn’t have figured it out since all they analysed were the remaining pieces of the vehicle” Harry says robotically, his face perfectly blank “The only thing they saw was that something in space-mode short-circuited. It was the panel itself. It was placed back incorrectly, and the cables under it rubbed against the metal, and it created a spark. That spark blew my _father_ to fucking pieces. That spark blew _me_ to fucking pieces as well”

“Harry, I…” Grant takes a step forward, but he can’t reach Harry, because before he can, Liam, Louis and Liza are in his way.

Grant is crying. “Harry, I didn’t mean to… to…”

“To kill anyone” Harry finishes the sentence for him “Neither did I. And yet I spent the last year thinking that I did anyway, and not being able to be home with my mother without having a panic attack about it”

Liza’s face is as blank as Harry’s as she grabs her boyfriend by an arm, together with Louis and Liam. “C’mon, Grant. I guess you’ll have your own trial as well when we land” she says coldly “Anyone else needs to confess to murder?”

Nobody replies. Grant tries to speak to Harry again, but Harry takes a step back, looking at him like he’s never seen him before, and then gives Grant his back as Louis, Liam and Liza slowly take Grant out of the room.

The silence is deafening once Grant is taken away. Nobody knows what to say, not even Cowell, who is surely a bit more than shocked at realizing two members of his team have killed—or tried to kill—people.

“I have to reset the guiding panel with a one-pilot mode” Harry just says then, and exits the room.

Zayn lets him go, because he doesn’t know what to say either.

 

*

 

The first thing that Harry thought when he realized what Grant had really done was something Gea had told him.

_It’s like there are explosions inside Grant’s brain._

Harry had dismissed it as Grant’s thoughts being particularly loud, but what if Gea had meant _literal_ explosions? Gea had probably seen the day of the accident in Grant’s mind, only she didn’t know what it meant.

Harry doesn’t know what to do after he resets the guiding commands for Liza to pilot the Eva 02 by herself. He’s not worried, he knows she can do it. He’s just worried for _her_ , but that will have to wait, because Harry’s brain is frying at the moment.

What do you do when you believe for so long that something is your fault, and then out of the blue you have tangible proof that it isn’t?

Harry doesn’t know. He thinks about Anne, about her losing her husband and also her son, since Harry has rarely seen her after the accident. It must have been like both Robin and Harry had died, for her.

Zayn finds Harry only in the middle of the night, probably because he was giving him time to elaborate the events in his head, because Zayn knows him.

Now, though, right in the observatory room where they were before Harry’s world was turned upside down by a single fucking sentence of Grant’s, Zayn shows Harry that he knows him even more than Harry thought, because he doesn’t speak, he just takes Harry’s hand in his own.

He knows Harry doesn’t need any words, not anymore. He needs someone to hold his hand to show him he’s not beyond recovery, that he can still try to let all of this go.

And that’s what Zayn does.

They don’t speak, but they’re _there_.

“I’ve spent so much time blaming myself for what happened that I don’t know what to do now that I know it really wasn’t my fault” Harry says at last, hours later.

Zayn puts his knuckles under Harry’s chin, and makes Harry look at him, smiling. “I know what you can do, babe. You can get rid of the guilt at last, and go see your mother when we land”

 

*

 

Harry doesn’t see Zayn for almost two weeks after they land.

As Zayn suggested, he goes to his mum’s place. Anne cries when she hugs him, and then cries some more when Harry tells her what he discovered. She’s horrified at the thought that Harry wasn’t coming home because he thought he was responsible for Robin’s death, but she’s glad now that justice can be done, for her husband, and for _Harry_.

He stays with his mother for two weeks, mending the hole he himself carved in their relationship, and finding out that it’s very easy to make his mum love him again, because the truth is that she never stopped.

Then, and only then, Harry calls Zayn.

They agree on meeting at Zayn’s place, just in the outskirts of London, and when Harry shows up at his place, they look at each other on the doorstep for a moment before Zayn hauls Harry inside by the lapels of his jacket and kisses him stupid in the entrance.

Harry tells Zayn about how it went with his mum.

Zayn tells Harry that Ben and Grant have both been judged guilty in their trials, because he knows Harry didn’t keep up with either of them. It hurt too much, and Harry Styles has decided he doesn’t want to live in the past anymore.

They stay at Zayn’s place for a couple of days before Harry tells Zayn one last thing. He shows him Gea’s seed, the one he’s kept hidden and close to his heart since the moment Gea gave it to him.

Zayn gapes a little at the small legacy from the Grannir, and then looks at Harry with a set of bright eyes, eyes full of mirth and hope and other things Harry’s slowly re-learning now.

“Do you wanna plant it here?” Zayn asks with a grin “But that would mean you’d have to be here to take care of it. I’ve got a big garden, but I’m shit with plants. I might need you to be here twenty-four/seven, for a long, long time”

Harry isn’t stupid, so he immediately gets the implications of what Zayn’s really asking, and he accepts.

Because now that he knows how to be happy with himself, he might as well move in with Zayn and be happy with him too.

 

\---

 

**Epilogue – A couple lifetimes later**

When Gea sees the first human settlement land on Grannes, she’s very excited.

The humans have built houses on Grannes. They’re not like the ones she’s seen in the memories of the first humans who ever set foot on her planet. They’re lighter houses, which won’t hurt the environment, because humans nowadays are very respectful of nature.

_And Harry thought humans would bring nothing but violence_ , she thinks with a chuckle.

She still thinks about Harry a lot, even though it’s been many, many ages since the time in which Harry existed.

But the Grannir remember, and Gea will carry the memory of Harry and Zayn until the end of times.

“Dahlia!” someone shouts “There she is! Gea!”

Two people come running towards Gea, huffing and puffing like they walked a long distance. Gea reckons they did, because the human settlement has been built at a safe distance from the Grannir, not to disturb them. Because Harry might be gone, but he’s still keeping his promise. _I’ll do whatever I can to protect this place_ , he’d said a couple lifetimes before.

Gea feels her leaves rustle in excitement, because she doesn’t know these two tiny humans—they’re probably less than fifteen human years or so—but she recognizes them anyway.

Because one of them has eyes as green as the grass on Earth, and the other’s are the colour of that sweet thing humans call honey.

The two humans grin at Gea, and she lets her branches envelop them in a _hug_. She hasn’t _hugged_ anyone since Harry. It only seems fitting.

The silver chain Harry hung on Gea’s branch clinks and touches the head of the girl. She looks at it, and something like recognition passes on her face. Gea rustles.

The boy gapes. “Holy shit, Dahlia” he tells the girl “It’s like Harry and Zayn’s tree. Only waaaaay bigger”

_Language_ , Gea says.

Dahlia laughs. “Watch your mouth, Dalir” she tells the boy “She still doesn’t like swearing. Hello, Gee” she adds with a grin. She has little holes in her cheeks, just like someone else Gea remembers.

_Hello, small humans. It’s nice to see your eyes again._

The other human, the one with Zayn’s eyes, smiles brightly, and well, Gea would never forget _that_ kind of smile either. “We’ve read a lot about you” he says excitedly “Do you remember Harry and Zayn? We’re their great-great-great grandchildren!”

Gea laughs. _Believe me, kid, I wouldn’t be able to forget Harry and Zayn, not ever if I tried._

“Can you tell us about when they first came here on Cassie?” Dahlia asks with wide, green eyes.

“Please? It’s such a cool story!” Dalir adds.

Gea rustles, and points at the ground with her leaves. _Sit, then. It’s a long story. And when I’m done, you can tell me how their story ended. Or started. It’s the same thing, after all._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was more complicated to write than I thought, and it went places, as you can see. I hope you enjoyed it!  
> Let me know what you're thinking :)  
> I am also on Tumblr as wont-you-stay-till-the-am.tumblr.com, come hit me up if you wanna talk.  
> Till next time!


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